I can't believe a year has passed since the coronavirus first hit the US. I remember going into March of last year, so hopeful for spring and all the adventures that warm weather can bring. Despite the hardships of the last twelve months, I still have that same sense of hope and excitement (I really hope I'll be able to get vaccinated this spring season). The cold and snow of February brought a lot of time for me to read and enjoy the books that had been waiting on my shelf to be opened. I chose 3 books by Black authors for Black History Month. Although I read books by Black authors all the time, this month reminded me again of how diverse and vibrant Black stories are, and how important it is to consciously pick up books by authors of every race and experience. Black History Month picks The Wedding Party by Jasmine Guillory I chose this book in the spirit of Valentine's Day as it's a typical romcom chit-lit novel but with an aspect that's rare for the genre ---- two Black main characters. There's probably a number of factors as to why it's uncommon to see exclusively Black love in women's contemporary literature, but honestly, they're probably the same factors that make it difficult to find Black main characters in many mainstream fiction novels. If you're curious as to why this is, I would definitely recommend doing some research on Black stories in the publishing industry. Although I'm not a big fan of chick-lit, I picked up this book specifically because it showcases Black love in a way that's refreshingly normal and fun. While it's important to read antiracist literature and books that exemplify the hardships people of color face in this country, I also think it's important to read books that illustrate Black stories that are honestly just entertaining. The Wedding Party has a genre-typical plot line ---- two people who hate each other are forced to work together when their mutual best friend is getting married. A drunken night together turns into more and they question whether their differences will hinder them from going deeper. Not my favorite storyline and I was certainly rolling my eyes at the cliches and predictable twists but it was an easy, fun read appropriate for Valentine's Day. If you typically enjoy romcom novels, I think you would definitely appreciate the entertainment of this one. Rating: 6/10 Bloodchild and Other Stories by Octavia Butler If you read my Top Books of 2020 post, you'll know that my top book of the year came from Octavia Butler. She's inching close to being one of my favorite sci-fi authors of all time. Her prose is just so straight-forward yet haunting, clear and concise but impactful. And her plot lines are unlike anything I've read before. I've been branching out on my genres recently and read two books of short stories this month. Although the framework isn't my favorite, I've still been enjoying the artistry that comes with writing stories that are so succinct. Bloodchild is a collection of Butler's most famous short stories, with the title being her most celebrated. The stories are some of the strangest, most creative works of fiction I've ever read. The title one, Bloodchild, is especially affecting. The best thing about this book is that Butler herself adds a chapter after each story explaining her inspiration, which helps greatly when deciphering what the hell was going on. She takes inspiration from earthly oddities and combines them with her own questions of science 'what ifs.' Bloodchild sprang from the eccentric combination of her wondering what would happen if men, not just women, were able to birth other beings, and her real-life fear of insects called botflies, creatures in Peru that lays its eggs in wounds left by the bites of other insects. Trust me, the end result is as disturbing and mind-bending as it sounds. Fans of sci-fi, especially speculative fiction, will probably enjoy these stories as much as I did. This work just proves to me that Butler is one of the most talented fiction writers I have ever encountered. Rating: 8/10 A Promised Land by Barack Obama America's political realm has been so intense, exhausting, and disheartening over the last few years that I wouldn't be surprised if some people simply rolled their eyes at any politician putting out a memoir. However, whatever your opinion is of Barack Obama, it's hard to deny that he is a decent man who truly wants the best for America and its citizens, no matter their race, gender, socioeconomic status, or political beliefs. He is also an incredible writer who puts a lot of heart and effort into everything he does. This is a big book, clocking in at 701 pages. It's probably not for casual readers, and it's definitely not for readers who have zero interest in politics. But for someone like me, who got a minor in politics in college and enjoys understanding the framework and policy decisions of this country, this memoir was a no-brainer. I would suggest if you're thinking about tackling this book, to consider the audiobook version. Listening to Obama's experiences through his own voice was honestly a wonderful and calming experience. My favorite parts of the book were hearing about him grapple with his own emotions and especially his very human moments throughout his campaign and presidency. He definitely goes a little too heavy into his policy decisions and outlines the exact context in which he made his decisions, but I can't really blame the guy considering people have constantly skewered him for every choice he made. His best moments are when he describes coming into contact with ordinary Americans, explaining little details that have been burned into his mind and shaped his legacy as an empathetic and kind leader. He also consistently views his experiences through the lens of his unique background and empathizes with Americans from all races and socioeconomic statuses ---- raised by a white mother from Kansas in Hawaii with her Midwestern parents, with his Kenyan father largely absent. Despite all the nonsense thrown his way about his background and heritage, I greatly admire that Obama takes pride in his eclectic upbringing, saying time and time again that his story exemplifies the best and most unique aspects of America. It's fascinating to hear what he was thinking and feeling in some of the most critical moments of the last decade. He laughs at his own dad jokes and curses when he recalls his frustrations. He comes off wonderfully normal and ordinary, just a regular man trying to figure out how to make other people's lives better. He certainly has an ego but I think you have to have it in order to be a politician. And the thing I love most about Obama is his incredibly resilient sense of hope. He truly believes this country can be better and will be better if people put aside their differences and work together. His rhetoric is one of unity and collaboration, which is so damn refreshing in today's political sphere. Obama's words, heard in his own deep and slow voice, felt incredibly warm and affecting, and I actually teared up way too many times for a political memoir. This book gave insight into a man who believes the best in America, and whose sense of hope is so genuine that it's impossible not to feel it too with each page turn. Rating: 8.5/10 The Glass Hotel by Emily St. John Mandel Some might recognize this author from her more famous dystopian work, Station Eleven. I read that book a few years ago and while I enjoyed it, I wasn't super invested in the plot or characters. I did think she was a talented writer and saw potential depending on the story. I had The Glass Hotel on hold via e-book from my library for months since it was very popular when it was released and I knew it would take time before it got to me. I didn't have many expectations going into this book, which I've realized is a much better way to get into a story. The book combines two seemingly separate events ---- the fallout of a Ponzi scheme on Wall Street and the disappearance of a woman from a ship out at sea. As the story continues, the two events take shape and start connecting through flashbacks of several characters, mainly through Vincent, a bartender who wants more from life when she meets a millionaire who is willing to give her a fresh start if she agrees to be his companion. I was surprised at how much I liked this book. The unique plot line really pulled me in and I finished it within a day or two. I was never bored and felt connected to the story the entire time. It was a unique way to illustrate childhood trauma, how it has a ripple effect on a person's entire life. The pacing was perfect, the characters were flawed yet engaging, and the ending was one I wasn't able to guess. For a page-turning fictional read exploring the human psyche and how people are intricately connected, definitely check this one out. Rating: 8/10 Exhalation by Ted Chiang My other work of short stories for the month, Exhalation also falls under the genre of sci-fi and speculative fiction. I had this one on my shelf for a few months as it was a Christmas gift from my roommate, one that I had on my wishlist for a long time. The cover really got me (I'm a sucker for a good cover), and the blurb only further heightened my expectations. Chiang tackles some of world's oldest and most poignant questions through these nine stories. Many involve technology and imagining how artificial intelligence might change humanity, and others surround strange dimensions where humans are built differently but still tackle the meaning of life and mortality. There were definitely areas where I felt a little lost, struggling to keep up with Chiang's incredible imagination and the realities he was attempting to create. But each story left me pondering the role technology plays in our lives and how different the world is because of it. I think it's not secret that I love sci-fi and speculative fiction, especially when it causes me to question my own worldview. Chiang masterfully spun nine stories, some better than others, but all impactful in one way or another. Rating: 8/10 This Lullaby by Sarah Dessen I had this strange itch to read Sarah Dessen around the middle of the month, specifically Valentine's Day. After reading a few hefty and emotionally heavy books, I was in need of a delicious Dessen novel to whisk me away. I've read This Lullaby multiple times over the last decade, and it never fails to disappoint. Typical of a Dessen story, This Lullaby follows Remy, a high school senior who is one summer away from a new life in California for college, separate from her chaotic mother and her mother's new and irritating fifth husband. Remy has no disillusions when it comes to love and how much it can hurt a person, and she continuously drops guys she dates before it can get too serious. The death of her absent father and mother's history with men pushes Remy to find control where she can. But when she unexpectedly falls for a disheveled and goofy guitar player, she begins to wonder if she is hurting herself more by not taking a chance on imperfect love. This book is cheesy, slightly predictable, but nonetheless incredibly warm and charming and filled with those distinctive Dessen details that I absolutely love. I'm not sure why I crave hearing about the gas station Coke that Remy and her friends drink, or how smelly and shaggy and adorable her boyfriend's dog is, or the outfit Remy picks out to get drunk at a bar with her friends, but I do and those details make Dessen's novels feel so incredibly real and tangible. It makes me feel close to Remy and I can imagine myself in her shoes, which is exactly why I love fiction so much. If you need a break from reality for a bit and want to get lost in a nostalgic and cute story about love and life, any Sarah Dessen novel will do but This Lullaby is certainly one of my favorites. Rating: 8.5/10 If you're stuck in a reading rut or feel uninspired and want to get into a book catered to your interests, you can head over to the Personalized Recs page and I will send you some books I think you'll love. Stay safe and happy reading!

I think January is the strangest month of the year ---- trying to remember that is in fact a new year, attempting new years resolutions, surviving the cold and post-holiday blues all make for a long and weird month. I think I said this last January too but I had some really intense highs and lows the last few weeks (is that just normal for all of us at this point?), but I survived and am excited to share the books I was able to read this month. Upstream by Mary Oliver Poetry is a strange genre for me. Some of the most moving and memorable words I have ever read were poetry yet a lot of the time, the poetry I pick up cannot capture my attention. I saw the cover of this book on bookstagram and loved it (I'm a sucker for nature book covers). I've heard of Mary Oliver and although I haven't been picking up much poetry lately, I decided this could be a good one to try. However, as much as I wanted to like her work, I was so incredibly bored with this book of poetry and essays. Oliver pulls a lot of inspiration from Whitman and Thoreau and I can definitely tell, but most of her writing was too descriptive for me and there was not enough connection to reality and meaning. I can see why people love her so much and if you enjoy nature poetry, I think you might like this one but if poetry isn't your thing, I don't know if this would help elevate the genre for you. Rating: 4/10 The Tipping Point: How Little Things Can Make a Big Difference by Malcolm Gladwell Malcolm Gladwell is probably the most unique journalist/academic I have ever encountered. I think my first exposure to him was reading his 2008 book Outliers: The Story of Success about five years ago, and when I discovered he had started a podcast, I checked it out. If you're a podcast junkie like me and enjoy ones along the lines of Radiolab and Invisibilia, I think you would love his podcast Revisionist History. Hearing Gladwell go deeper into his obscure opinions is such an engaging experience and I highly recommend you checking it out. However, I have to say I was a little disappointed by Tipping Point. Hilariously, this 2000 book goes into physical and social epidemics and why they happen (this COVID pandemic is laughing at us right now). Gladwell goes deep into the strange phenomenon that occurs when one small thing builds up enough that it tips over a system and spreads far and wide. The topic definitely captured me and there were parts of the book that were more intriguing than others but overall, I wasn't eagerly consuming this book. I think it actually took me a few weeks to get through which is not normal for me at all. There were topics that I was somewhat confused as to why he spent so many pages on them. For instance, he explains that tipping points require what he calls a 'stickiness' factor and he uses Sesame Street as an example of 'stickiness.' He says the show blew up because the producers made sure the key components of the children's show were catchy and memorable. It was a cool example to dive into but he spent many, many chapters on it and by the end, I was kind of fed up with the ridiculously detailed examples of studying Sesame Street. Gladwell is a strange guy and you can definitely feel his quirkiness more in his podcast but he often goes way too deep into small details and then has rigid opinions that he does not like to give up on. He also uses academic studies or papers to support his rigid opinions even if it's obvious to a lay audience that he is using the study way out of context. I will point out that Tipping Point is over twenty years old and it does seem that Gladwell has evolved as I thoroughly enjoyed Outliers from 2008. Regardless, if you've been curious about Gladwell, I would definitely recommend checking out his podcast and especially Outliers. I have a few other books of his on my shelf that I will still read because I do enjoy his writing and I'm hoping the more recent the book, the more artful the delivery. Rating: 6/10 Beasts of Extraordinary Circumstance by Ruth Emmie Lang I've come to realize over the last year or so (having to analyze all the books I read when I write about them for the blog) that one of my favorite genres of fiction is magical realism. Growing up with a lot of fantasy, sci-fi, and magic, I feel as if the elements of the genre are in my blood. Now that I'm a full blown adult, I'm discovering that I still love so many of the same things I did as a child, just with a more mature twist. Magical realism takes things I love best about fantasy and folds them quietly into the real world, giving that wondrous feeling that magic exists somewhere if you're observant enough to find it. Beasts of Extraordinary Circumstance is a quirky novel that follows a man named Weylyn Grey, who was orphaned and raised by wolves at age 11. His story is told through the eyes of those around him, people he's made an impact on one way or another, showing them that magic exists for those willing to see it. He goes on adventures, falls in love, and struggles to find his place in the modern world. I adored this book. The prose is enchanting ---- simple but impactful. The characters are memorable and complicated and eccentric. It's a charming story that is approachable and engaging until the very last page. It's one of those books that feels more needed in this hard time that we're in because the story, though filled with magical realism, is truly just about the real and messy parts of life that somehow end up being the most beautiful. If you're looking for a world that it is easy to slip into and enjoy the whole way through, that leaves you hopeful, I couldn't recommend Beasts of Extraordinary Circumstances enough. Rating: 8/10 Me Talk Pretty One Day by David Sedaris Sedaris is definitely one of my favorite authors (post coming about my favorite authors very soon). There is almost no other author that is guaranteed to make me laugh out loud with every one of his books. My favorite of his is still Calypso but this one comes in a close second. If you don't know Sedaris, he is a comedy writer who is unashamed of sharing his ridiculous internal monologues and strange yet relatable life experiences. He is crass, often vulgar, always gives way too much information, and stubborn as hell, but my goodness is he hilarious. Topics in this book include his big family, growing up in Raleigh, being gay, moving to France and learning French, and every single chapter brings me joy and belly laughs. It feels like you're sitting on the couch drinking wine with your best friend when you read his words. I adore him. I think we could all use some laughs right now and if you're not afraid of vulgarity and absurdity, give Sedaris a try. Rating: 8.5/10 What You Wish For by Katherine Center I've definitely prefaced this in a post before but I feel like I should do it again ---- my favorite books don't necessarily mean they are of the highest quality. I think a lot of us can agree that some of those classics that teachers tried to make us read in school, though objectively were some of the best books ever written, were not enjoyable to read. I will never judge anyone for the books they end up reading and enjoying, and especially the ones that make them feel warm and less alone in this world. I've read a lot of books by Katherine Center and I consider her writing the adult version of Sarah Dessen novels. Inevitably, both of these women are some of my favorite authors. They both do a fantastic job of centering stories around strong, complicated women who struggle with many different kinds of obstacles. While love is always present in their stories, it is almost never the main plot point that is pushing the action. What You Wish For is probably my favorite of Center's novels. The story is about Sam Casey, a school librarian in a small town who, when we meet her, is struggling with epilepsy and the loss of her principal/surrogate dad. When he is replaced by a man from Sam's past who is strict and rigid about rules, her and the close-knit town join forces to help him loosen up and realize the beauty of chaos. There were some details that didn't make sense and the ending was a little too perfect but overall, this story was ridiculously engaging and heart-warming and easy to fall into. There's almost nothing I love more than when an author gives the most mundane details to a scene, like what someone is wearing or the color of the mug they're holding. It gives life and dimension to a story and makes it seem more real and tangible. Center does a great job with those details and I love that there were some tough plot lines that provided non-romantic conflict. While Center's writing might not win prestigious awards or push readers to think deeply about topics, it does feel real and warm and consumable. I finished this book in a few hours because I didn't want to put it down. And ultimately, that feeling is what keeps me coming back to books again and again. Rating: 8.5/10 If none of these books pique your interest, you can shoot me a message through the 'Personalized Recs' page. Tell me some of your reading goals, favorite books, or what you want to read more of and I'll send you some recommendations I think you'll love. Stay safe, stay sane and happy reading!

2020 broke my heart in more ways than one, as I'm sure it did for a lot of people. It can be hard to find silver linings in a year that was so painful but I've been able to find a lot of things I'm grateful for, including discovering some new favorite books. I think that's why I love reading so much ---- no matter what is happening in the world or even in my personal life, I can always pick up a book to escape or find comfort. While I definitely had periods of not being able to read because my mind was way too loud, I did read some incredible stories that will stay with me for years to come. I will note that 2020 wrecked a lot of my reading goals. I'm not beating myself up for how my reading game went this year, nor am I self-scolding for not posting on this website as much as I hoped. Instead of using this year to expand my worldview and learn about different cultures or important events or people like I originally planned, I came back to my adolescent love of reading. This year, I read to feel that warmth that comes with reading beautiful, hopeful, mainly fictional stories. And I have to say, I read quite a few of those this year and I could not be more thankful for these books that brought me joy. So, here are the top 10 books I read in 2020, with the best book of the year coming in at the end. Evvie Drake Starts Over by Linda Holmes I recently realized (after reading one too many cringe-y chick-lit romance books this year) that I don't typically love pure romance novels. I need a story with a main character who is struggling with a conflict outside of love or a partner. If romance is a secondary plotline, I'm much more likely to enjoy the book. Evvie Drake Starts Over is about a woman named Evvie who loses her husband in a car accident, although you learn early on that she had intended to leave him on the day she finds out he has passed. She carries guilt, shame, and sadness with her for two years, unable to forgive herself. In walks Dean, a former New York Yankees pitcher, who has been struggling with "yips" and is unable to throw on the level he used to and he banishes himself to Evvie's small Maine town. The two become friends as they share their struggles with one another and of course, inevitably fall for each other. I loved both Evvie and Dean, and Holmes created a world I easily slipped into, describing the characters' mundane, everyday lives in a beautiful and engrossing way. The characters felt relatable, and their emotional reactions to their circumstances made sense to me. There is something about a book that puts detail into the small things, like the color of the coffee cup or the way a character uses their hands to describe something, that makes a book feel wonderfully realistic and tangible. It was easy to get lost in Evvie and Dean's story and I was left feeling warm, hopeful, and content. If you're a fan of contemporary romance but need more meat to the story, I definitely recommend Evvie Drake Starts Over. The Dirty Life by Kristin Kimball This was the book that helped me crawl out of my quarantine reading rut post Harry Potter re-read in the spring. The Dirty Life is a memoir by Kristin Kimball who was a writer living in New York City when she interviewed a young farmer outside of the city and they quickly fell in love. While she knew nothing of growing vegetables, caring for animals, or the incredibly hard work that goes into sustaining a farm, she agreed to leave NYC and join her new boyfriend on his quest to buy land and turn it into a CSA (Community Supported Agriculture) farm. I know ---- this sounds like the plot of a charming Hallmark movie, but Kimball gives the gritty details of the difficult yet rewarding life of a farmer. She paints a vivid picture of her everyday life, down to the color and flavor of the crops, and the tools and techniques they use. The book reflects the first year of her relationship and the farm, breaking it up by season. She explains the obstacles and themes of each season and what is most important to accomplish, even though the work of a farmer is never-ending. Kimball breathes such animated life into her words that I felt like I was there with her. If you're looking for an easy but beautiful story that will make you wish you could also fall in love with a farmer, raise chickens, grow crops, and spend the majority of your time on your feet and outside (wait, was that just me?), I couldn't recommend this book enough. The Smell of Other People's Houses by Bonnie-Sue Hitchcock This was the most unexpectedly wonderful book I read this year. I'm pretty sure I saw this cover on someone's bookstagram and I was enraptured, proceeding to look it up and snag it from the library. Something about the cover makes me feel all warm and cozy inside (this just shows how important cover marketing is). To be honest, I barely read the blurb but was intrigued enough to reach for it immediately. The Smell of Other People's Houses (I adore this title) is set in Alaska in 1970. It follows four teenagers living very different lives as they struggle to find love, security, and themselves. As the story progresses, their lives become entangled in the most unexpected but enchanting ways. When I first began reading this book, I was a little bothered by having to follow four main characters, each with their own life and story. I think I was unsure how the author was going to be able to tie everyone together while differentiating each character and their journey. However, Hitchcock exceeded my expectations, and I was left in awe. Each teenager has their own struggles whether with poverty, absent parents, changes out of their control, or finding real friends. Each voice is unique and distinct, and I felt empathy and even related to many of the emotions each teen was going through. There were times when Hitchcock's words rang so true I would tear up. She articulated so many adolescent emotions that I'd forgotten about until I read them on the page. Even just the idea the title evokes, The Smell of Other People's Houses, brings back memories of spending weekends at friends' houses and how each friend had a distinct smell to their house that would often bring varying levels of comfort to me. It is such a strange but moving experience when an author can bring back memories and nostalgia that you didn't even know were buried inside. The ending was absolutely perfect and wonderful and despite some difficult topics brought up throughout the book, I was left feeling hopeful and content. It brought me some desperately needed peace, especially with all that's happening in the world. I know a lot of us could appreciate some of those good feels right about now, so I encourage you to give this book a try. Into Thin Air by Jon Krakauer Ah, another spectacular book by my favorite author of all time. Yes, I stand by that statement because every single book I've read by Jon Krakauer has blown me away and just convinces me further that he is the best nonfiction writer to ever live. Into Thin Air follows Krakauer on an incredible but terrifying journey to climb Mount Everest in the spring of 1996. Krakauer takes on a reporting job for Outside magazine when they ask him to report on the commercialization of the legendary climb. He joins a well-respected expedition led by Rob Hall, and details each day on the mountain. Despite knowing the outcome of this disaster, I was still on the edge of my seat as Krakauer went into excruciating details over each and every member of not only his expedition but the others who were on the mountain that fateful day. This is exactly why I love Krakauer ---- he always keeps me gripped to the page in anticipation despite knowing what technically happens at the end of his books. Also, the fact that this book is a first-hand account of someone who climbed to the peak and survived to tell the tale when many did not is simply unparalleled storytelling. Krakauer published this book pretty soon (considering) after the disaster, but it is so clear that his attempts to process and grieve through the writing of this book was not successful. His pain is left trailing the last pages of the book as it seems even he does not know what to make of what happened that day. I always tell people who are looking to get more into nonfiction to start with Krakauer ---- although my favorite of his will always be Under the Banner of Heaven, this novel does not disappoint in thrills, facts, and captivity. I couldn't recommend it enough. The Invisible Life of Addie LaRue by V. E. Schwab As a die-hard library gal, I almost never buy a book before I've read it, especially not a new release as they are usually expensive and over-hyped. However, I have never (and I mean never) seen so many rave reviews for a new release in my entire life. Bookstagram was blowing up about this book and I felt like I only saw five-star reviews. Based on the blurb, I decided to jump the gun and buy the book. The story starts out in a small French village in 1714. A young woman named Addie LaRue is being forced to marry a man she hardly knows, and in a last-ditch attempt to escape her fate, she calls upon any power that is listening to give her freedom. Turns out, the devil was listening and he agrees to liberate Addie from her fate and grant her immortality, but with the unintended consequence that Addie is cursed to be forgotten by everyone she meets. The book jumps back and forth over the years, switching between present-day Addie and her difficult journey over the centuries as she attempts to leave her mark on a world that refuses to remember her. When she meets a man in a bookstore who remembers her name, her fate is once again altered. I think people are so enamored by this book because it is a story-line unlike anything seen before. Schwab weaves in and out of history, showing historical moments through the eyes of a woman who is cursed to live forever. The prose is magical and absorbing and fascinating. The characters are unique and memorable and complicated. I finished this book in 24 hours because I couldn't put it down. The ending is imperfect and beautiful and weirdly satisfying, and one I was unable to guess as the story progressed. If you're looking to get lost in a dazzling fictional story, you should definitely bite the bullet and buy this book, preferably from a local bookstore. My DC favorites are Kramer's, Lost City Books, Bridge Street Books and Loyalty Bookstore. My Durham favorite has always been The Regulator Bookshop on Ninth Street. My NYC favorite is Strand Bookstore. Definitely try to shop minority-owned if you don't have a personal preference. Good Morning, I Love You by Shauna Shapiro While self-love may be a more recent concept that is popular with millennials, its importance cannot be stressed enough. Good Morning, I Love You is a newly published personal development book written by Dr. Shauna Shapiro, who has been studying mindfulness and self-love for over twenty years. She goes deep into the science of mindfulness, self-compassion, and kindness and it's astounding just how undervalued all those practices are, even in the modern world. I think many people think that personal shaming for mistakes is the only way to learn and grow, but Dr. Shapiro proves that the only way to heal and develop is to actually treat yourself with kindness and compassion. I definitely have struggled with this over the last year, even questioning my self-worth at times. Reading this book has pushed me to accept my mistakes and forgive myself, while also speaking to myself with a gentle graciousness. One of the lessons I learned in 2020 is that my worth is not inherent in how productive I am, how many people love me, or how few mistakes I make. My worth comes from myself and myself only, and realizing how beautiful imperfection is has helped me get through the last few years. Healing takes time and patience, but this book has made a world of a difference in my own personal healing journey. I couldn't recommend it enough. The Most Fun We Ever Had by Claire Lombardo This multi-generational novel dives deep into the Sorenson family, a suburban Chicago family with four daughters. The book jumps back and forth between the years of 1970, when the parents Marilyn and David met, and the present day when all girls are fully grown with their own families. The story goes through each character's life, looking at the same situation from several perspectives. Claire Lombardo is an extraordinary writer and writes with a level of wisdom and poignancy I have never seen. To be able to write from a mother's perspective, then a father's, then one daughter's, and have it all make sense and feel so real is an amazing feat, and she does it with ease. Each character is so distinct in their voice, and while I was worried in the beginning of being able to differentiate between the four daughters, I quickly realized that each woman was unique and recognizable, and so I never got confused. Instead, I grew to have such weirdly intense emotions about each character. I absolutely adored Marilyn and David, applauded Jonah, had empathy for Liza, felt an affinity for Grace, was sympathetic though sometimes annoyed at Wendy, and freaking detested Violet. I'm not used to reading stories about the struggles of privileged middle-class America. It was an often uncomfortable read because I couldn't believe how spoiled and selfish the daughters could be when their lives had so much support and love. But I think that's what makes this book so astounding ---- it pulled anger and frustration out of me because I was trying to understand characters who were so ridiculously flawed. And I think that's what happens to us constantly in real life. We try to understand the ones we love but are often left disappointed or confused, and even hurt. But when Lombardo would dive into the emotional depth of each character, she dove so deep that I was honestly shocked. So many things rang true for me, as a daughter, as a friend, as a sister. I couldn't believe that Lombardo was able to articulate so many of life's confusing emotions, and in a way that was relatable yet beautiful. There were countless times where I had to stop reading, put my hand on my chest, and take a breath because I was overwhelmed by my reaction and the palpable emotion that was coursing through me. The Most Fun We Ever Had spoke to my soul in a way most books don't ---- it went deep into the messy and uncomfortable parts of life and love and family. It made me call my parents and my sister to tell them I love and appreciate them. It made me feel grateful for the people in my life and the support I have. It made me view the world differently, perhaps with a little more kindness and compassion. The Strength in Our Scars by Bianca Sparacino This might have been the most personally valuable book I read in 2020. Looking back, it's almost comical that I read it at the beginning of the year when I was already struggling, and because of the way this year has gone, I came back to its pages again and again, always finding comfort and encouragement. This short book of poetic essays isn't necessarily typical of the poetry genre. It's more along the lines of Rupi Kaur's Milk and Honey. Sparacino writes as if she is speaking to a close friend, and that warmth and kindness is exactly what I needed to hear. She reminds readers to be gentle and compassionate towards themselves, especially in the face of loss, grief, and even anger. I think many of us have a tendency to shoulder shame and guilt, even in situations we shouldn't. Sometimes, it feels easier to blame ourselves for something that happened rather than someone else because it gives us more control. Sparacino reminded me of the importance of facing emotions in order to let go and move on, and that there is strength in being honest and vulnerable. There is quite a bit of repetitiveness in her prose. She goes through the same ideas many times, and some expressions are much more powerful and poignant than others. But it's a short book, a quick read, and I usually didn't mind because no one page felt like it dragged on. Nothing she writes is necessarily revolutionary, but I think she expressed well-known ideas in a way that felt comforting, relatable, and warm. I read a few pieces before bed every night for about a week, which I think is a great way to spend time with this book. This book also led me to Sparacino's incredible podcast, In Your Feelings, which I also highly recommend. She writes "Be gentle with yourself; you are still learning." Her words felt like a hug from a friend, and I think it would feel the same way for anyone who is still struggling and feels a little lost in 2021. The Starless Sea by Erin Morgenstern I've definitely gotten more into nonfiction over the last few years, with even the best book I read in 2019 being the life-changing Evicted. But the soul-filling magic that a great fiction story brings me is unmatched. Fiction becomes a part of me in ways that nonfiction usually does not. There is something about knowing a story isn't real that makes it that more magical and personal. This book centers around Zachary Ezra Rawlins, an introverted graduate student who is way too into his books and love of reading (sound familiar?). He discovers a mysterious book in his school library and reads something that shakes him to his core: a story from his own childhood. He begins a desperate search to find out how his own life came to be recorded in a book, and that search leads him to a secret club, an ancient library in New York, and a magical world that is hidden beneath the surface of the earth. Zachary learns of the sacrifices countless souls have made to preserve the sanctity of story-telling, and he begins to realize he may have to make a similar sacrifice. The Starless Sea has everything I adore about fiction ---- a story rooted in magical realism, a main character obsessed with books and adventure, and the most enchanting prose I've read in years. Time and time again, this book filled me with that giddy, heart-skipping excitement that I get when I read a story that makes me feel like the fantastical is hidden behind a door that I have yet to discover. I feel like a child again when I read books like this one, hopeful that magic exists if I'm observant enough to find it. Honestly, if I were to write a fictional book, it would be extremely close to this one, and the fact that I was able to dive into a story that speaks to my book-loving soul was the most marvelous reading experience I've had in a long time. If you're anything like me and relish the possibility that magic exists right under our noses, I think you will love this book. Kindred by Octavia Butler The best book I read in 2020 was, without a doubt, Kindred by Octavia Butler. I had been meaning to read Octavia Butler for a few years and happened to pick Kindred up from the library just as the Black Lives Matter resurgence was picking up speed over the summer. I was excited to dive into a fantasy book by an acclaimed author (she was a pioneer Black woman author of the sci-fi and fantasy genre, becoming the first science-fiction writer to win the MacArthur fellowship in 1995). Kindred follows Dana, a Black woman living in1970s Los Angeles who begins being transported back and forth between her present-day and pre-Civil War Maryland. The time-traveling is connected to her ancestor, Rufus, a young and white slaveholder, who needs Dana's help every time he is near death. She realizes that in order to solidify her existence, she has to ensure Rufus and her ancestor Alice meet and continue her bloodline. I've never read a slave narrative quite like this one. Butler did an incredible job combining the ideas and beliefs of the present day with the antiquated and horrific customs of a slaveholding America. By having Dana thrown back and forth between the two times, Butler was able to give a modern narrative to a historic story. Like many slave narratives, this book is filled with the terrifying realities slaves faced for generations. There are scenes of extreme violence and pain. However, I felt that every sickening scene was there for a reason. Butler does not do violence or gore just for the sake of shocking the reader ---- she does it to show the reader the atrocities of the time, but then points to the psychological effects this had on slaves. Dana both realizes and experiences firsthand the difficult and life-threatening choices Black people had to make to survive ---- sometimes that meant risking torture and death, sometimes it meant staying put to protect family and loved ones. It is a heartbreaking and sobering reality that I honestly feel like I didn't understand fully until reading this novel. This story had me hooked from the first page and I finished it within hours because I couldn't stop reading. The characters are well-fleshed out and complex, the plot moved quickly and fiercely, and Dana's struggles and strife felt like punches to the gut. I had so many emotions reading this book and it left me grappling with the legacy of slavery and how it is still intertwined with American society today. This book is important but it is also one of the most masterful stories I've ever read. I think it should be added to everyone's reading list, whether you're trying to read more books by Black authors or you simply want a gripping story that will leave you haunted for days. I hope 2021 is kinder to us all and that we are able to give ourselves more grace in the coming year. If none of these recommendations pique your interest, shoot me a message through the Personalized Recs page and I can recommend books based on what you specifically want. Stay safe, stay sane, and happy reading!

I've been slacking on my posting lately but now that it is officially fall (aka bookworm season), I'm back on my reading and writing game. I considered doing a few wrap-up posts of all the books I've read since the pandemic started but let's be honest, most people would rather see the best of the best (and I would rather not write 25 reviews on some books that I didn't even enjoy). I'm using the same style I use for my wrap-ups, with my favorite read coming in at the end to save the best for last. Annihilation by James VanderMeer This book had been on my radar for a while when its movie adaptation starring Natalie Portman came out in 2018. One of my favorite YouTubers/BookTubers Jess (www.sunbeamsjess.com) raved about it a few years ago and the premise caught my attention. Annihilation is the first book in an eerie and unique sci-fi trilogy set in a dystopian future where a region of the earth has distorted itself into something called Area X. Several expeditions have been sent to explore this mysterious area, with no conclusions of its origin and with the explorers disappearing into the land or coming back forever changed. A biologist sets off with a team of four other women to discover and report back as much information as possible. This quest is even more personal for the biologist as her husband was part of a previous expedition that brought him back unrecognizable. This is one of the most bizarre books I have ever read. The narrative comes entirely from the biologist, with the story unfolding through the pages of her journal entries. Because she is writing the entries as if they will get back to the government, her words are cautious and formal, and neither her name nor the names of any of her fellow explorers are ever revealed. From the first page, a tense and enigmatic tone is set ---- I fell through the story quickly and nervously, never knowing what the next page would bring. The atmosphere of this book is unlike any other and I felt thrilled by the unknown. This is a fairly short book but it packs a punch, and the ending pushed me to immediately buy the second book in the series, something I almost never do. Reading reviews on Goodreads, I see that people were bothered at the unresolved ending and the vague details, but I actually enjoyed the obscured reality ---- it made it feel far more powerful and real and got the wheels turning in my head for days. If you're looking for a thrilling, disturbing, atmospheric novel to get you out of your own world for a time, definitely give this book a try. The Rise of the Ultra Runners by Adharanand Finn I spoke about this book in my Top Books for Summer post but I want to reiterate how much fun I had reading this nonfiction book. Adharanand Finn is a journalist who dives deep into the extreme sport of ultra running by completing the most famous ultramarathons in the world. I learned about the world of ultra running a few years ago when I read the best running book I've ever picked up, Born to Run by Chris McDougall. If you haven't yet read that niche classic, I highly recommend it. When I heard that people run ultramarathons (which is anything more than the marathon length of 26.2 miles) for fun and through all kinds of extreme settings, I was floored. Some ultramarathons are more than 100 miles, through mountains or desserts, rain or shine, and can last many days. How can the human body withstand that much stress? How can a person mentally get through such a grueling feat without breaking down? I was amazed that Finn wanted to explore this world by personally putting himself through multiple arduous races, detailing each race's twists and turns and how he was able to push through the pain. Not only was this exciting to read, but since Finn traveled across the globe to compete, I felt like I was being whisked away to exciting places to experience this strange niche world with him. I was exhilarated despite being confined to my home during quarantine. Finn gives the typical running book background on the sport, describing its quick rise to a thriving global industry, and highlights some of its biggest names and their journeys. But my favorite part was hearing about these insane races through the eyes of a guy who jumped into this world feet first. He describes some of his legitimate breakdowns, including the strangest race I've ever heard of ---- a 24-hour race on a track. Yes, he really just ran around a track for 24 hours straight, having a mental breakdown and spiritual renewal in the process. Don't get me wrong, I don't plan on ever running an ultramarathon but that didn't stop me from getting sucked into this crazy but addicting sport. If you're looking for an exciting nonfiction book that effortlessly integrates running, travel, taking risks, and pushing past comfort zones, this is the read for you. The Dirty Life by Kristin Kimball This was the book that helped me crawl out of my quarantine reading rut post Harry Potter re-read. The Dirty Life is a memoir by Kristin Kimball who was a writer living in New York City when she interviewed a young farmer outside of the city and they quickly fell in love. While she knew nothing of growing vegetables, caring for animals, or the incredibly hard work that goes into sustaining a farm, she agreed to leave NYC and join her new boyfriend on his quest to buy land and turn it into a CSA (Community Supported Agriculture) farm. I know ---- this sounds like the plot of a charming Hallmark movie, but Kimball gives the gritty details of the difficult yet rewarding life of a farmer. She paints a vivid picture of her everyday life, down to the color and flavor of the crops, and the tools and techniques they use. The book reflects the first year of her relationship and the farm, breaking it up by season. She explains the obstacles and themes of each season and what is most important to accomplish, even though the work of a farmer is never-ending. Kimball breathes such animated life into her words that I felt like I was there with her. My only qualm with this book was that I wished it was longer because I absolutely loved living in her world. However, Kimball recently published a new book, Good Husbandry, which I've already picked up and am planning to get through sometime this fall. If you're looking for an easy but beautiful story that will make you wish you could also fall in love with a farmer, raise chickens, grow crops, and spend the majority of your time on your feet and outside (wait, was that just me?), I couldn't recommend this book enough. Lanny by Max Porter Another recommendation by Jess (www.sunbeamsjess.com), this was a whimsical but deeply affecting novel that was actually longlisted for the Man Booker Prize in 2019 (a pretentious but notable award). I'm not sure what category this novel would fall under --- maybe fantasy, although light on the fantastical; perhaps magical realism. Lanny opens with a strange creature enveloping a small town outside of London. This creature seems to feed off the town's fears and negativity, popping in and out of the town's fabric of reality every few decades. Max Porter even goes as far as to jumble the words on the page to mirror the voices of the town's people through the ears of the creature. Eventually, the character of Lanny is introduced, an eccentric child whose mother worries that his solitude might be negatively impacting him. When the curmudgeon (aka the grumpy old man stereotype) next door opens up his art studio to Lanny, the two form a bond that seems to raise both of their spirits. But, the horrific creature lurks in the shadows of the town, waiting for Lanny to waltz into his greedy arms. I realize that this blurb may seem odd and confusing and maybe even slightly childish but I think that's what made this book so impactful ---- I did not expect it to be the affecting and moving story that it became. The emotions of this book are unexpectedly simple but potent. I routinely had to stop and put a hand to my chest because I could feel the words on the page running through my body. The words struck a strange, slightly nostalgic chord in me that is somewhere between how it feels to be a child with seemingly irrational fears and how it feels to be an adult with very logical anxieties. I grew up adoring fantasy and magical realism and this helped me remember why I love the genre so much. If you're looking to dip your toe in magical realism or even if you want a short but powerful story about how it feels to be a child, a parent, and or even a friend, I highly recommend this book. Into Thin Air by Jon Krakauer Ah, another spectacular book by my favorite author of all time. Yes, I stand by that statement because every single book I've read by Jon Krakauer has blown me away and just convinces me further that he is the best nonfiction writer to ever live. Into Thin Air follows Krakauer on an incredible but terrifying journey to climb Mount Everest in the spring of 1996. Krakauer takes on a reporting job for Outside magazine when they ask him to report on the commercialization of the legendary climb. He joins a well-respected expedition led by Rob Hall, and details each day on the mountain. Despite knowing the outcome of this disaster, I was still on the edge of my seat as Krakauer went into excruciating details over each and every member of not only his expedition, but the others who were on the mountain that fateful day. This is exactly why I love Krakauer ---- he always keeps me gripped to the page in anticipation despite knowing what technically happens at the end of his books. Also, the fact that this book is a first-hand account of someone who climbed to the peak and survived to tell the tale when many did not is simply unparalleled storytelling. Krakauer published this book pretty soon (considering) after the disaster, but it is so clear that his attempts to process and grieve through the writing of this book was not successful. His pain is left trailing the last pages of the book as it seems even he does not know what to make of what happened that day. I always tell people who are looking to get more into nonfiction to start with Krakauer ---- although my favorite of his will always be Under the Banner of Heaven, this novel does not disappoint in thrills, facts, and captivity. I couldn't recommend it enough. The Smell of Other People's Houses by Bonnie-Sue Hitchcock This was the most unexpectedly wonderful book I've read in a long time. I'm pretty sure I saw this cover on someone's bookstagram and I was enraptured, proceeding to look it up and snag it from the library. Something about the cover makes me feel all warm and cozy inside (this just shows how important cover marketing is). To be honest, I barely read the blurb but was intrigued enough to reach for it immediately. The Smell of Other People's Houses (I adore this title) is set in Alaska in 1970. It follows four teenagers living very different lives as they struggle to find love, security, and themselves. As the story progresses, their lives become entangled in the most unexpected but enchanting ways. When I first began reading this book, I was a little bothered by having to follow four main characters, each with their own life and story. I think I was unsure how the author was going to be able to tie everyone together while differentiating each character and their journey. However, Hitchcock exceeded my expectations, and I was left in awe. Each teenager has their own struggles whether with poverty, absent parents, changes out of their control, or finding real friends. Each voice is unique and distinct, and I felt empathy and even related to many of the emotions each teen was going through. There were times when Hitchcock's words rang so true I would tear up. She articulated so many adolescent emotions that I'd forgotten about until I read them on the page. Even just the idea the title evokes, The Smell of Other People's Houses, brings back memories of spending weekends at friends' houses and how each friend had a distinct smell to their house that would often bring varying levels of comfort to me. It is such a strange but moving experience when an author can bring back memories and nostalgia that you didn't even know were buried inside. The ending was absolutely perfect and wonderful and despite some difficult topics brought up throughout the book, I was left feeling hopeful and content. It brought me some desperately needed peace, especially with what's happening in the world right now. I know a lot of us could appreciate some of those good feels right about now, so I encourage you to give this book a try. Kindred by Octavia Butler I had been meaning to read Octavia Butler for a few years and happened to pick Kindred up from the library just as the Black Lives Matter resurgence was picking up speed. While I've continued reading anti-racist literature over the last few months, I was excited to dive into a fantasy book by an acclaimed author (she was a pioneer Black woman author of the sci-fi and fantasy genre, becoming the first science-fiction writer to win the MacArthur fellowship in 1995). Kindred follows Dana, a Black woman living in 1970s Los Angeles who begins being transported back and forth between her present-day and pre-Civil War Maryland. The time-traveling is connected to her ancestor, Rufus, a young and white slaveholder, who needs Dana's help every time he is near death. She realizes that in order to solidify her existence, she has to ensure Rufus and her ancestor Alice meet and continue her bloodline. I've never read a slave narrative quite like this one. Butler did an incredible job combining the ideas and beliefs of the present day with the antiquated and horrific customs of a slaveholding America. By having Dana thrown back and forth between the two times, Butler was able to give a modern narrative to a historic story. Like many slave narratives, this book is filled with the terrifying realities slaves faced for generations. There are scenes of extreme violence and pain. However, I felt that every sickening scene was there for a reason. Butler does not do violence or gore just for the sake of shocking the reader ---- she does it to show the reader the atrocities of the time, but then points to the psychological effects this had on slaves. Dana both realizes and experiences firsthand the difficult and life-threatening choices Black people had to make to survive ---- sometimes that meant risking torture and death, sometimes it meant staying put to protect family and loved ones. It is a heartbreaking and sobering reality that I honestly feel like I didn't understand fully until reading this novel. This story had me hooked from the first page and I finished it within hours because I couldn't stop reading. The characters are well-fleshed out and complex, the plot moved quickly and fiercely, and Dana's struggles and strife felt like punches to the gut. I had so many emotions reading this book and it left me grappling with the legacy of slavery and how it is still intertwined with American society today. This book is important but it is also one of the most masterful stories I've ever read. I think it should be added to everyone's reading list, whether you're trying to read more books by Black authors or you simply want a gripping story that will leave you haunted for days. If none of these recommendations pique your interest, shoot me a message through the Personalized Recs page and I can recommend books based on what you specifically want. Stay safe, stay sane, and happy reading!

This all honestly feels like the plot of a science-fiction novel (I'm thinking Station Eleven by Emily St. John Mandel). In order for the coronavirus to be as least destructive as possible, we're all being encouraged to stay home and practice social distancing. What better time to pick up that book that's been on your nightstand for months, or read the book your friend recommended for you ages ago? If you're struggling to figure out what books to reach for when the world is as crazy as it is, I've got you covered. I'm giving you a list of the most absorbing books I've ever read for the ultimate distraction. When I'm anxious or uneasy, nothing helps ease my mind quite like an engrossing (usually fictional) story that I can't put down, although I am also including some of my favorite nonfiction picks as well. *I will note that all the libraries in DC have been shut down until further notice. As a library-lover, I freaked out slightly. However, don't forget that if you have a library card, you can borrow books from the library via e-book or e-audiobook. I'm going to use this time to get through the rather large TBR pile of books that have been collecting in my room. You can also order used books from ThriftBooks.com, which I highly recommend. Fiction Recommendations: The Harry Potter series by J.K. Rowling Ah, I can finally talk about the most important books of my entire life, the ones closest to my soul. I have yet to mention my beloved series on this website because I want to introduce books that maybe most people haven't yet heard of or read. But we're in crisis mode, people. And if you haven't yet read this legendary series or if you've been feeling a reread lately, now is the time. I grew up with Harry Potter. I have a very distinct and detailed memory of being five-years-old, laying in bed as my mom read me Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone in her lovely Polish accent. I was able to read the second one on my own, and the rest is history. My sister and I were those siblings that argued over who got to read the latest book first (she almost always won because she's older), and many years of my adolescence were marked by the obsession over whatever book had just come out. This series was the start of my ridiculous love of reading, something that is now deeply tied to my identity. I could never articulate what this series means to me and how important it is to who I am (I have a Harry Potter tattoo, if that tells you anything). If you're rolling your eyes because you're tired of people singing the praises of these books, hear me out for one second. There is a reason people cherish these books so intensely. J.K. Rowling created the most magical, beautiful, engrossing world I have ever fallen into. The characters are so real, dynamic, and hilarious. They are some of the most memorable characters in fiction. The Wizarding World is so rich and detailed, and Rowling is the queen of world-building (Tolkien is the king). My head knew that I would not be getting my Hogwarts letter on my eleventh birthday, but my heart had the tiniest sliver of hope because Rowling created a universe that convincing. Getting a chance to be part of that world, even if just through reading the books, is still one of my favorite parts about being alive in this generation. And if you think this series is just for kids, think again. I've known several friends who have read the books later in life and fallen in love with no less vigor than I. Perhaps the first and second book might feel more childish, but if you can get through those, the rest of the journey is deep, complicated, and at times, very difficult. But the most wonderful thing about this series is the sense of hope that Rowling instills in the reader despite everything the characters go through. I reread the series every few years or so, usually when I'm going through a crisis or struggling somehow. Honestly, I would absolutely reread the whole thing again right now if I didn't have a pile of unread books staring at me in the face (and this website to upkeep with new books and posts). Rereading these books feels like home. They never fail to make me laugh, cry, and feel magic in my soul, no matter how many times I read them (which might be around four). If you're looking for the ultimate distraction, the greatest adventure, and the most soul-fulfilling story in this time of anxiety, look no further. Pick up this damn series, I promise you won't regret it. The Hunger Games trilogy by Suzanne Collins If you're really looking to get deep in the reality of a fictional world, reading a series is the way to go. I'm always going to scream about Harry Potter if someone wants a difficult yet uplifting journey, but if you're looking to get lost in a more complicated story, I couldn't recommend The Hunger Games enough. I read this series in high school at a time in my life when everything felt just really emotional and intense. I'm pretty sure I heard about this series from my friend Amanda, and even borrowed at least one from my friend Casey (hi, guys). At the time, this series was very far from being turned into movies and not many people had heard about or read them yet. If I'm being completely honest, these books might be the most engrossing I have ever read in my life in terms of plot and pacing. I'm sure you have heard of the plot --- Katniss Everdeen lives in a dystopian society that pits the children of its districts against one another in a fight to the death. I distinctly remember reading the first book with my eyes wide open in disbelief, glued to the page, absolutely unable to put it down. I've never seen an author make a scene feel so immediate and intense as Collins. The unique story line was one I had never imagined before in my life, and Collins created characters that were complicated and flawed, emotional and angry. I was hooked. I also have a very vivid memory of finishing the third and final book, Mockingjay, and sobbing into my mother's arms because I was so distraught. There's something about the ending of this series that just really affected me, showing me that war can destroy every inch of a country and a person, but that there are ways to rebuild and find hope. This series isn't for someone looking for a happy-go-lucky distraction. This is a deeply moving and thrilling story of rebellion, leadership, loss, and how to move forward in the aftermath of destruction. If you're looking to immerse yourself in a powerful fictional tale that makes you think long after the last page, pick up this series. The Mortal Instruments series by Cassandra Clare I'm recommending one more series if you want to lose yourself and your worries in a fictional world. Also, I apologize for all of the series I mention to be fantasy or sci-fi, it just happens that the book series' I often find most distracting and engrossing are from those genres. Now, The Mortal Instruments series is no miraculous feat of literature --- the books are filled with typical fantasy tropes, a twisted romance, and many plot twists. You won't be aching to write a PhD dissertation on this series. However, they are easy to read and written for a more general audience, making them enticing and consumable during this hard time. The plot surrounds Clary, a teenage girl living in New York City who discovers that the world she lives in is not what it seems. Not only is there a hidden reality of werewolves, vampires, monsters, and magic, but she is actually unknowingly at the center of it all. When her mother gets kidnapped, she must put her trust in a mysterious boy named Jace to help her figure out what happened and how to save her mother. Again, I've always loved sci-fi series growing up because there was so much excitement in waiting for the next installment or picking it up right away to continue the magic and get lost in the completely fictional world, where the characters had problems so different than my own. If the plot doesn't sound too hokey or you're into that avenue of storytelling, I don't think you would be disappointed in this series. There are six books in total, although the author has written countless other series based off the same magical world and I know plenty of people who dive deep into each spin-off. Dark Matter by Blake Crouch My final fiction recommendation is one I have already discussed in detail in my Top Books of 2019 post (linked here), where I wrote that Dark Matter was the best fictional story I read that year. I'm not going to dive too deep, but I will reiterate just how amazing this book is. Even if you're not super into science fiction, I think this story really challenges the idea of reality and the universe and in a way I have never before seen. It was so ridiculously engrossing that I stayed up until 3 AM on a Wednesday night last year because I had to finish it. This book is about a brilliant scientist who questions the decisions he has made in his life and where they have brought him. He has a wife and son he loves dearly, but at times feels like he gave up a different, more successful life in the field of physics. The story goes down the insane rabbit hole of the multiverse, the idea that there are infinite universes existing at this very moment, and how each decision we make alters the universe just a little bit. Blake Crouch is an absolute master storyteller, and this was one of those books that made me contemplate the ending for days after I completed it. Side note, Blake Crouch also came out with a newer book called Recursion, which I also highly recommend for another engrossing story. That book deals with memory and reality --- very thought-provoking, but perhaps not as impactful as Dark Matter. Not really into sci-fi or fantasy, or just want a more contemporary read? I'd recommend Where the Crawdads Sing by Delia Owens, Little Fires Everywhere by Celeste Ng, The Most Fun We Ever Had by Claire Lombardo, Saint Anything by Sarah Dessen, and Middlesex by Jeffrey Eugenides. Nonfiction Recommendations: Under the Banner of Heaven by Jon Krakauer I discussed this favorite of mine in detail in my Top Books of Every Genre post, but I am including it here because I want to point out how absolutely engrossing this book is. It gripped from me from the first page and held me all the way through until the end. If you want to get lost in the story of a real-life chilling narrative, I couldn't recommend this book enough. The book centers around a haunting narrative of two Mormon fundamentalist brothers murdering their sister-in-law and one-year-old niece, which in and of itself is a winding and complicated story. But it is also about faith, human behavior, and religion's battle with modernity. While this story and its history is fascinating on its own, it is so much more gripping because of the way Krakauer pieces the narratives together. He is no doubt a master storyteller, somehow creating anxiety and anticipation in a story that has a well-known ending. This book might be controversial for some, but for me, it was a enthralling journey through the religious psyche of America, making me question my own perspective and personal spiritual beliefs. Evicted by Matthew Desmond My favorite nonfiction read of 2019, this book was a captivating look at renting in an American city, specifically through the lens of poverty. The reason this is one of the best nonfiction books I have ever read is because Desmond is completely silent in this story ---- instead, the chapters unfold through the voices of the dozen or so people he covers in Milwaukee in 2007 and 2008. The book reads like fiction: there are direct quotes, thoughts from inside people’s head, pictures painted from all sides of the rent equation. I have never read a nonfiction book like this before, and I believe it is the main reason why it is so powerful. It is difficult to feel like a reader is getting an objective story when it is told through the eyes of the author. By removing himself from the narrative, Desmond was able to present the harsh and authentic reality of renting in an American city. If you're looking to learn more about an important topic, broaden your horizons on what America looks like, and be enraptured all at the same time, I highly suggest diving into Evicted. Calypso by David Sedaris If you want a light-hearted, laugh-out-loud book to distract you during this time, Calypso could be just what you need. This book is an autobiographical memoir from the acclaimed writer David Sedaris. I'm not exactly sure how to describe Sedaris and his writing. He writes about his strange life in bits and pieces, pulling humor out of the most mundane occurrences. Just to warn you, he is crass, absurd, and relentless in his self-deprecation. But oh my god does it work. Calypso goes more into his later years, including the ways his family has dealt with the death of the matriarch and also of Sedaris' sister. He and his family end up buying a house on a North Carolina beach, and he reflects on some memories he has of his wild and obnoxious family, specifically when they vacationed at the beach over the years. Sedaris' writing feels like sitting down to have a coffee with a close friend you haven't seen in a while, one that makes you laugh and roll your eyes, but inevitably leaves you feeling less lonely than before, which is exactly what most of us need right now. Bad Blood by John Carreyrou Another engrossing, page-turning drama, this book was one of my favorites of 2019. This story chronicles the ridiculous scandal of Elizabeth Holmes, her startup Theranos, and the winding and deep fraud that surrounded the company. First of all, this is simply an amazingly written story. I think I finished it in about three days because I couldn't stop reading it. John Carreyrou is actually the journalist who originally broke the story for the Wall Street Journal back in 2015 and it's astounding how much detail he was able to collect to accurately tell this daunting story... and daunting it is. Elizabeth Holmes was America's Silicon Sweetheart for the years she pretended to have invented a technology that would be able to run hundreds of tests on one drop of blood. I think America wants so desperately to have more successful women in the world of technology and startups that it was willing to look past Holmes' suspicious activity and demeanor. Can you blame it? Even the people within the company who began to realize that the technology was not working seemed to want Elizabeth to succeed despite her lies. It's a telling account of how far people are willing to go to keep a secret, and how blind people can be because they wish something to be true. Atomic Habits by James Clear While this is not like my other recommendations in a typical narrative sense, I think it could be incredibly helpful for those of us who are looking to find structure, routine, and productivity in this time of strange schedules and being stuck inside. This straightforward, easy to read guide to building better habits is amazing because it actually gives concrete steps and ideas on how to build routines to be successful. If you're struggling to find balance or to instill healthy habits, it's probably not you — it's your systems. James Clear understands that people need to start small and build upon a foundation in order to see results. I used to think that goals were reached with drastic changes and big ideas, but now I know better. When you start small, you don't feel overwhelmed and you're more likely to stick to a routine if it feels easy and enjoyable. I will admit that I am struggling to get a sense of normalcy while I work from home, although I feel incredibly grateful that not only do I have that ability, but that there is still plenty of work for me to do while all of this is happening. If you are also struggling, whether to find a routine or because something has drastically changed in your life, this book could be incredibly helpful for you to feel a sense of control and productiveness. If none of these recommendations pique your interest, shoot me a message through the Personalized Recs page and I can recommend books based on what you specifically want. Thank you to those who have sent a request. I absolutely love getting the messages and have such a blast giving personal recommendations. I also want to extend an invitation to have a conversation during this weird time ---- if you want to talk books or anything else, feel free to shoot me an email at brianasbookshelf@gmail.com. Stay safe, stay sane, and happy reading!

I know everyone says this, but January really felt like it lasted 45 days. The past month for me has been a bit insane, with lots of highs and lots of lows. Despite the month's madness (or perhaps as a way to escape it), I read six books, and they were all surprisingly great in their own way, with one in particular that has been moved to the coveted shelf of 'favorites.' Note that I had to return There There by Tommy Orange because it was due at the library before I could take the above picture so it is absent from the pile. As this is my first official monthly wrap-up, I'll preface this with a few house-keeping bits. I used to always take a picture of my monthly TBR (to-be-read) list and post it on Instagram, but I won't be doing that anymore for a few reasons. First, as most of the books I consume are library books, sometimes I am not able to read all the books on that month's TBR list, and instead forgo some for other books I find or that come off the library hold shelf more quickly and that I’m more excited about. And second, I'm sure most of you would much rather get detailed reviews on the books I actually read than just a picture of the ones I plan to read. I'm going to structure these monthly wrap-ups with my least favorite read of the month, ending with my top one. Saving best for last, right? I am also going to start including a rating with each book I review, on a scale of 1 to 10. Big disclaimer: my rating is based off of how I personally feel about the book, not necessarily the objective quality of it. A book can win a Pulitzer Prize, be a New York Times Bestseller, and be objectively important and miraculous, but I still might not enjoy it. There There by Tommy Orange Let me again reiterate that this month was an amazing reading month for me. This book just happened to be the one I enjoyed the least, though I still enjoyed it. There There is a strange, short book that follows 12 characters, all of Native American descent and all tied to the Oakland powwow that happens at the end of the story, where a horrific event occurs. It's unlike anything I've ever read before. I think Orange presented the world with stories that are often not heard or understood, and he does an amazing job pulling empathy out of the reader. Every character struggled with their Native identity: what it means for them personally, what it means for the Native American population as a whole in the modern day, and how the culture has been twisted and obscured over the last few centuries. Each character struggled with their own demons, and their connections to one another inevitably pull them together towards the book's conclusion. I wanted to know more about every character and dive deeper into their psyche because I realized how ignorant I am when it comes to the Native American experience. Orange pushed me to question my understanding of Native culture, past and present, and he did it in an empathetic and captivating way. However, I have to say, I struggled to get into and then keep up with the plot. Squishing 12 characters into one very short novel is a difficult feat and to be honest, I don't think Orange executed it very well. The storylines are all engrossing but similar, and I had so much trouble differentiating the characters and their individual lives. I think Orange needed to either shrink the character list or make the novel longer. The ending was shocking but confusing ---- again, switching between characters so rapidly made the ending feel rushed and apathetic. Perhaps that was Orange's goal, but it almost tainted the rest of the book for me. All in all, I still believe this is an important and astounding debut novel demonstrating an often overlooked narrative and I encourage you to read it if it sounds compelling, I just wish it was executed differently. Rating: 6/10 Pachinko by Min Jin Lee This extraordinary historical saga spans the middle of the twentieth century, following a Korean family through their struggles and countless attempts to better their circumstances. First of all, the content of this book is important and extremely underrepresented. I have never read a book set in Korea and I learned so much about the culture, particularly about the divide between Korea, China, and Japan. I was shocked at the discrimination the Korean family endured when they moved from Korea to Japan, but it helped paint a picture of an area of the world I am not familiar with. The prose is beautiful, and Lee has the exceptional skill of setting the scene, creating a tangible world, and making the reader feel immersed in the story. The multiple settings, time periods, and characters were mostly woven together exquisitely. I had a few qualms with the book. One is that Lee had a tendency to end a chapter during a seemingly unimportant moment, and when I turned the page, I discovered five years had flown by and the character who had just had a critical plot point in the previous chapter died. A bit jarring and confusing, though Lee certainly did this on purpose. I also did not understand many of the characters' deaths. There is one death in particular (that I won't mention so as not to spoil the book) that left me annoyed and wondering what the hell just happened. I wish Lee had better explained the emotional context of the character and their psyche because I was still annoyed with it long after I finished. I also was extremely confused when I got to the end of the book --- I actually turned the page expecting more and was surprised to realize that I had reached the end and that was it. I understand that many authors choose not to end a novel with a conclusion, choosing to leave it very open-ended, but Pachinko ended on a note that left me turning back the pages, wondering if I missed anything. A little frustrating considering I spent so much time with these characters (496 pages worth). Despite these qualms, Pachinko was a breathtaking story that kept me eagerly turning the pages. This novel also gave me a push to consciously read more books from cultures that are unfamiliar to me, spurring that particular book resolution for 2020. Rating: 7/10 Evvie Drake Starts Over by Linda Holmes After reading a few emotionally-heavy books at the beginning of the month, I was craving something more light-hearted. I haven't been in the best headspace the last six weeks or so, and sometimes a good fiction book is what I need to make me feel better. Evvie Drake Starts Over is about a woman named Evvie who loses her husband in a car accident, although you learn early on that she had intended to leave him on the day she finds out he has passed. She carries guilt, shame, and sadness with her for two years, unable to forgive herself. In walks Dean, a former New York Yankees pitcher, who has been struggling with "yips" and is unable to throw on the level he used to and he banishes himself to Evvie's small Maine town. The two become friends as they share their struggles with one another and of course, inevitably fall for each other. Although romance isn’t necessarily my favorite genre, I can still appreciate a book for warming my cold heart. That's exactly what this book did. I loved both Evvie and Dean, and Holmes created a world I easily slipped into, describing the characters' mundane, everyday lives in a beautiful and engrossing way. The characters felt relatable, and their emotional reactions to their circumstances made sense to me. There is something about a book that puts detail into the small things, like the color of the coffee cup or the way a character uses their hands to describe something, that makes a book feel wonderfully realistic and tangible. It was easy to get lost in Evvie and Dean's story and I was left feeling warm, hopeful, and content. If you're a fan of contemporary romance, or if you just want to get absorbed into a good love story and forget about your own life, I definitely recommend Evvie Drake Starts Over. Rating: 7.5/10 The Strength in Our Scars by Bianco Sparacino If you've read my Book Resolutions of 2020 (linked here), you'll know I've decided to add more poetry to my monthly reading lists. I've neglected poetry for a long time even though I know how powerful it is. My roommate (hi, Paula) knew I was going through a rough time lately and offered me her copy of The Strength in Our Scars, and I am so glad she did. This short book of poetic essays isn't necessarily typical of the poetry genre. It's more along the lines of Rupi Kaur's Milk and Honey, which is also on my TBR list. Sparacino writes as if she is speaking to a close friend, and that warmth and kindness is exactly what I needed to hear. She reminds readers to be gentle and compassionate towards oneself, especially in the face of loss, grief, and even anger. I think many of us have a tendency to shoulder shame and guilt, even in situations we shouldn't. Sometimes, it feels easier to blame ourselves for something that happened rather than someone else because it gives us more control. Sparacino reminded me the importance of facing emotions in order to let go and move on, and that there is strength in being honest and vulnerable. There is quite a bit of repetitiveness in her prose. She goes through the same ideas many times, and some expressions are much more powerful and poignant than others. But it's a short book, a quick read, and I usually didn't mind because no one page felt like it dragged on. Nothing she writes is necessarily revolutionary, but I think she expressed well-known ideas in a way that felt comforting, relatable, and warm. I read a few pieces before bed every night for about a week, which I think is a great way to spend time with this book. Some of her words rang so true that I had to stop reading to process, feeling strangely less alone because someone was able to articulate hopefulness in a beautiful way. She writes "Be gentle with yourself; you are still learning." Her words felt like a hug from a friend, and I think it would feel the same way for anyone who is struggling and feels a little lost. Rating: 8/10 When Breath Becomes Air by Paul Kalanithi I have seen this book floating around the internet for a while now, and even received several recommendations from friends to read it. The subject matter sounded a bit bleak for the mood I've been in, but I decided to give it a try since it has been so highly regarded in the book world. When Breath Becomes Air is the unfinished memoir of neurosurgeon Paul Kalanithi, who learns he has terminal lung cancer at the age of 36, and has to come to terms with his inevitable fate. This astounding and ridiculously moving book punched me in my gut, but in the best way. I am shocked out how much it affected me given it's only 200 pages, but Kalanithi was just that incredible. He writes with such grace and beauty, and each word felt purposeful, which seems to mirror how he lived his own short life. He was somehow able to reflect on his life in a way that didn't feel rushed, and he processed his situation with raw vulnerability. I feel like I know him because he opened up and dove deep into what life and death meant to him as a surgeon, as a husband, as a father, and as a sentient human being. He ultimately left this world with a masterpiece, one that will leave a legacy for generations to come. I could not recommend this book enough. Rating: 8.5/10 My top book of the month, and now a new favorite: The Most Fun We Ever Had by Claire Lombardo Once again, I want to stress that my reviews will always reflect how a book impacted me personally and does not necessarily represent how it is viewed by the larger book community or its overall objective quality. That being said, I believe The Most Fun We Ever Had is an objectively astounding book that hit me so hard, it has landed on my coveted 'favorites' shelf, and has now become part of my soul. This multi-generational novel dives deep into the Sorenson family, a suburban Chicago family with four daughters. The book jumps back and forth between the years of 1970, when the parents Marilyn and David met, and the present day when all girls are fully grown with their own families. The story goes through each character's life, looking at the same situation from several perspectives. I have so much I could say about this incredible novel. Claire Lombardo is an extraordinary writer and writes with a wisdom and poignancy I have never seen. To be able to write from a mother's perspective, then a father's, then one daughter's, and have it all make sense and feel so real is an amazing feat, and she does it with ease. Each character is so distinct in their voice, and while I was worried in the beginning of being able to differentiate between the four daughters, I quickly realized that each woman was unique and recognizable, and so I never got confused. Instead, I grew to have such weirdly intense emotions about each character. I absolutely adored Marilyn and David, applauded Jonah, had empathy for Liza, felt an affinity for Grace, was sympathetic though sometimes annoyed at Wendy, and freaking detested Violet. I'm not used to reading stories about the struggles of the privileged middle-class America. It was an often uncomfortable read because I couldn't believe how spoiled and selfish the daughters could be when their lives had so much support and love. But I think that's what makes this book so astounding ---- it pulled anger and frustration out of me because I was trying to understand characters who were so ridiculously flawed. And I think that's what happens to us constantly in real life. We try to understand the ones we love but are often left disappointed or confused, and even hurt. But when Lombardo would dive into the emotional depth of each character, she dove so deep that I was honestly shocked. So many things rang true for me, as a daughter, as a friend, as a sister. I couldn't believe that Lombardo was able to articulate so many of life's confusing emotions, and in a way that was relatable yet beautiful. There were countless times where I had to stop reading, put my hand on my chest, and take a breath because I was overwhelmed by my reaction and the palpable emotion that was coursing through me. I'm not sure if this book will hit the same for every reader. Some might find it crass, overwhelming, melodramatic, and maybe even aggravating. But The Most Fun We Ever Had spoke to my soul in a way most books don't ---- it went deep into the messy and uncomfortable parts of life and love and family. It made me call my parents and my sister to tell them I love and appreciate them. It made me feel grateful for the people in my life and the support I have. It made me view the world differently, perhaps with a little more kindness and compassion, and that to me undoubtedly earns the title of 'favorite.' Rating: 9.5/10 *The only reason I'm docking half a point is because the character Violet pissed me off so much that I wanted to scream ---- I suppose that's a sign of my emotional attachment to the characters, but annoying nonetheless. If you have read any of these books or decide to pick one up and want to discuss further, I am always down to have a conversation. Feel free to shoot me a message through the 'Personalized Recs' page, on Instagram or on Facebook, or you can send me an email at brianasbookshelf@gmail.com. Happy reading!

I've compiled a few different lists inspired by the recent Black Lives Matter protests and movement. This will not be my typical blog post where I give my opinion or explain my experience reading a book. I want to move away from my own white narrative and instead, highlight the voices and narratives of Black authors and content creators. The first list is a book list that contains many of the books that have been shared countless times on the internet over the last few weeks. This list would not be possible without the diligent work of the Black and antiracist community. It is not the responsibility of Black people to educate white people on the incredible pain and suffering this country has caused them, but their work ---- through which they share valuable insights ---- is important and appreciated. The two other book lists are ones I wanted to include to emphasize that Black stories and authors are not monolithic ---- they are as diverse and vibrant as the people who write them. While I believe it is important to read antiracist books and work to self-educate on many of the issues Black people face in this country and this world, I also want to celebrate the wonderfully entertaining and moving stories I have read by Black authors that inhabit every genre and all themes. The next time you go to read a book simply to fall into an incredible fictional story, I encourage you to pick up a book by a Black author. The final list is one of Black bookstagrammers who I follow and absolutely love. Black content creators are often underappreciated and overlooked even though their voices are important and unique. I urge you to follow those accounts to diversify your reading ---- I am constantly inspired by their recommendations, especially because many of them feature talented authors of color that can be overlooked by the mainstream bookstagram community. Antiracist Reading List How to be Antiracist by Ibram X. Kendi White Rage by Carol Anderson The New Jim Crow by Michelle Alexander Just Mercy by Bryan Stevenson White Fragility by Robin DiAngelo So You Want to Talk About Race by Ijeoma Oluo The Warmth of Other Suns by Isabel Wilkerson They Were Her Property by Stephanie E. Jones-Roger Between the World and Me by Ta-Nehisi Coates Stamped from the Beginning by Ibram X. Kendi Fiction Reading List Americanah by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie The Color Purple by Alice Walker The Underground Railroad by Colson Whitehead Kindred by Octavia Butler The Hate U Give by Angie Thomas Red at the Bone by Jacqueline Woodson Invisible Man by Ralph Ellison Beloved by Toni Morrison Children of Blood and Bone by Tomi Adeyemi Everything, Everything by Nicola Yoon An American Marriage by Tayari Jones My Fiction To-Read List Half of a Yellow Sun by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie Their Eyes Were Watching God by Zora Heale Hurston Song of Solomon by Toni Morrison Go Tell It On the Mountain by James Baldwin I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings by Maya Angelou The Water Dancer by Ta-Nehisi Coates The Poet X by Elizabeth Acevedo Black is the Body by Emily Bernard Sing, Unburied, Sing by Jesmyn Ward Get a Life, Chloe Brown by Talia Hibbert Riot Baby by Tochi Onyebuchi Inside Out and Back Again by Thanhha Lai Fire Shut Up in My Bones by Charles M. Blow Homegoing by Yaa Gyasi Black Sunday by Tola Rotimi Abraham I'm Telling the Truth, But I'm Lying by Bassey Ikpi How We Fight for Our Lives by Saeed Jones The Girl with the Louding Voice by Abi Dare The Boyfriend Project by Farrah Rochon Black Bookstagrammers Jaime from @absorbedinpages Traci from @thestackspod Amber from @byamberburns Paris from @parisperusing Anna from @never_withouta_book Nnenna from @scsreads Suzie from @asbthebookworm Taryn from @mentallybooked Renee from @book_girl_magic Bezi from @beingabookwyrm I am lucky enough to work at the Smithsonian, and wanted to include the National Museum of African American History and Culture's new portal on race, linked here. It's an incredible resource for anyone looking to dive deeper into race conversations and discover how to ensure this is not a moment, but a movement. As always, I am open to have a conversation. Feel free to email me at brianasbookshelf@gmail.com. If you want personalized recommendations, you can fill out a message form on the Personalized Recs page. Stay safe, everyone.

Despite February being the shortest month of the year, I somehow broke my own record by reading ten books this month. Granted, most of them were pretty short, which made me realize something about myself: I much prefer thicker books. Most of the issues I had with the books I read this month was that I needed more ---- I didn't feel satisfied with the pages I was given. I love a long, minimum 400-page book that I can get lost in and sink my teeth into. Maybe it's also because I read so fast that when a book is short, it feels like I didn't spend adequate time with the story. Regardless, let's get into the wrap-up (I'm going to attempt to be as succinct and short as possible since there are so many books to get through). I've made a conscious effort over the last few months to diversify my books, and Black History Month is a great time to make sure I'm picking up books by black authors. If you follow any bookstagrams, you'll have seen that niche offer up hundreds of choices, which has only made my TBR list grow longer. Although February is over, I still want to make sure I include more stories about the African American experience every month. Red at the Bone by Jacqueline Woodson First of all, can we just oogle at this amazing cover?? Marketing at its finest, I must say. Now, this was one of the books of the month that ended up being disappointing because of how short it was. Red at the Bone is a multi-generational story of an African American family in Brooklyn who come together to raise Melody, the daughter of two teenagers, Iris and Aubrey. The book switches narratives between each of the characters, from the daughter to her parents and then to her grandparents, and spans almost two decades. It is a beautiful story of loss and coming-of-age and sacrifice. I think Woodson is an amazing writer. She paints a palpable story, with each character very tangible and real. She sets each scene with wonderful detail, and I was able to imagine the story with incredible structure. However, it is because of all these wonderful aspects that I was disappointed with the length of the book. I wasn't able to dive into the story because of how short each chapter was and how quickly the years went by. I desperately wanted more from each character because they felt so real ---- I wanted to know more about them and their stories, and things happened so fast that by the end of the book, I was left feeling rather empty. At around 190 pages, I almost wish Woodson had doubled the length because I felt like there was so much more to learn about the characters, but it was definitely a conscious decision to make this book short and succinct. If you're a lover of a quick read with a powerful story, I would definitely recommend Red at the Bone. However, I wish I could have spent more time diving into the world Woodson created, especially because she switched between so many points of view and I felt like each character had much more to them then I was able to experience. Rating: 6/10 Race for Profit by Keeanga-Yamahtta Taylor This nonfiction book details the policies and behaviors of the American housing market that inevitably robbed African Americans of decent mortgages and ownership. It goes into the nitty gritty specifics on just how systematically unfair the industry was and still is, and it is clear that Taylor is an expert on this topic. This is an incredibly academic book ---- I wouldn't be surprised to see it on a college syllabus. If anyone were to write a thesis on racial discrimination in the mortgage industry, this would be the book to reference. However, I definitely struggled through it because of its density and vernacular. It is not a casual book to pick up, it is an in-depth look at the events and policies in the twentieth century that led up to the reality of today. It demonstrates that laws may attempt to fix an industry, but only enforcement of policies and tangible punishment of racist behaviors can begin to grapple with an unjust system. This is a meaningful book with powerful details, but it might not be the most accessible. Rating: 6.5/10 Between the World and Me by Ta-Nehisi Coates This short book is actually more of a letter/essay rather than a traditional book. Ta-Nehisi Coates writes a letter to his adolescent son about the struggles of living in a black body in America. He details his reality of growing up in Baltimore, how his life changed when he attended Howard University, and his attempt to raise his son in New York City. Coates is clearly a prolific writer. His words cut like knives through the pages, and his anger and terror comes through in full force. His prose is poetic and he utilizes metaphors in almost every paragraph. This book and his story are important. However, I sometimes struggled to grasp what he was saying because he used so many metaphors. He weaved in and out of history, which confused me at times, and because this is not a traditional book, there wasn't any organized chapters or ideas. I think I tend to struggle with books that lack a typical design because I'm honestly not the most creative or sophisticated reader. The description of this book also mentions that Coates "offers a transcendent vision for a way forward" but if he did, I must have missed it. If the description hadn't mentioned that, I would not have expected for Coates to offer up any ideas on what America can do to work on its systematic racism. To me, this book was about Coates' personal experience and his anger and I do not think he has to offer up any ways forward. I especially enjoyed the last part of the book, when Coates speaks to the mother of a slain black man, and she details her life's work to nurture and protect her son, all to have it end in tragedy. I doubt I will forget this book or Coates' story, and while I may have struggled with it a bit, I still believe it is critical in its unflinching ability to show readers just how terrifying it can be to be black in America. Rating: 7/10 For other books by black authors, I absolutely love and wholly recommend The Warmth of Other Suns by Isabel Wilkerson, The Color Purple by Alice Walker, Americanah by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, and The Hate You Give by Angie Thomas. Your Soul is a River by Nikita Gill After reading and loving The Strength in Our Scars by Bianca Sparacio last month, I was eager to pick up Your Soul is a River because I heard that the two books were similar. However, while the book cover is absolutely gorgeous, the poems and essays inside were not as dazzling. The ideas were incredibly repetitive and not very satisfying, and the prose felt flowery instead of substantial and moving. If you're looking for a powerful collection of healing words, I say go for The Strength in Our Scars over this book. Rating: 4/10 The Bookish Life of Nina Hill by Abbi Waxman In the spirit of Valentine's Day, I picked up a few books in the romance category, a genre I don't typically dive into. The Bookish Life of Nina Hill has been popping up here and there, so I decided to give it a try. It is pretty easy to discern what this book is about from the title ---- a bookish woman who works at a bookstore has a simple life that gets turned upside down when she learns the father she never knew she had has passed away. Throw in a cute guy from trivia and you have a pretty basic romance story. While I thoroughly enjoyed the details of Nina's bookish life (because there were many similarities between her and I, clearly), Nina as a character was pretty annoying and frustrating. She's extremely stubborn and Type A, to an abnormal and unrealistic degree, and I found myself rolling my eyes a lot. The ending was also ridiculously predictable, but I suppose that can be said of most romance books. I don't always mind a predictable ending if it feels appropriate and the journey towards the conclusion feels real and not rushed ---- but I don't think I can say that for this book. Rating: 5/10 Digital Minimalism by Cal Newport Here's the thing ---- I might not be the ideal role model when it comes to digital minimalism (I honestly just love scrolling bookstagrams too much), but I do spend a significant amount of my free time reading books instead of watching TV or falling into an internet wormhole. I still enjoyed Digital Minimalism and I think Newport gave great suggestions on how to decrease your screen time. One of the biggest concrete recommendations he stresses is to do a 30 day digital detox. Depending on what is essential to your livelihood, he explains the importance of cutting out all unnecessary technology for a full 30 days, and then reintroducing only the most enjoyable apps, rituals, and scroll-worthy tendencies. Honestly, I might have actually done this 30 day detox had I not just started this book website. But considering my desire to mold this new hobby of mine, I felt I couldn't follow Newport's procedures properly. I still found his tips very helpful, and the chapters are short and to the point, with anecdotes and lots of footnotes. At times, this book did feel like a college thesis, written as if Newport is attempting to convince a professor of his practices, but it feels approachable and doable. If anyone is looking for concrete ways to decrease their digital time in order to increase other productive hobbies or simply because you feel your time is being swallowed by your screens, I definitely recommend this book. Rating: 7.5/10 The Hating Game by Sally Thorne Another romantic read I picked up to compliment Valentine's Day, this one was significantly more enjoyable than The Bookish Life of Nina Hill. Although it is still a typical romance book with a predictable ending, I definitely had more fun reading it. The main characters, Lucy and Joshua, work together and are competing for a promotion, with a volatile relationship full of pranks and bitterness. Of course, you learn they don't actually hate each other when they get to know one another, and the journey towards the end is comedic and fun. I would definitely recommend this book if you're a fan of the typical romance comedy genre ---- nothing groundbreaking but thoroughly entertaining. Rating: 7.5/10 Running to the Edge by Matthew Futterman The last year and a half, I've been super into books about running and athletes. If you haven't yet read Born to Run by Christopher McDougall, you absolutely need to, it's one of my favorite books of all time. Books about running can definitely be hit or miss for me because I want an inspiring story while also some motivation through concrete tips. Running to the Edge was a great read about the infamous running coach Bob Larsen and the athletes he trained. It was engrossing to read about how the sport of running has changed over the last few decades, especially the attitudes towards Americans vs. African runners. I love that Futterman included very specific details on how each runner looked, what their life was like growing up, and inevitably, why they became great athletes. With spring just on the horizon, I signed up for a 5k here in DC, and this book was the perfect companion for my training inspiration. If you've got some races coming up or want to get back into running, definitely check out this book. Rating: 8/10 Good Morning, I Love You by Dr. Shauna Shapiro I spoke about this book in depth in my Top Books About Love post (linked here), so I won't go into too much detail. However, I think this book is so important if you're looking to improve your relationship with your self, and I know many of us struggle with that relationship. I especially have had a rough few months and this book has helped so much in my journey towards forgiving myself, finding self-compassion, and moving forward. I spent my February mornings with a cup of coffee and one chapter of this book and it was a wonderful way not only to start my day, but also to really absorb what Dr. Shapiro recommends. I know it will be a book I come back to time and time again when I need a little reminder of how to be more mindful and compassionate towards myself. Rating: 8.5/10 On Earth We're Briefly Gorgeous by Ocean Vuong This book has been adored by the bookstagram community for almost a year now. I've had it on my TBR list and it finally came off the hold shelf at my library this month. Wow, this book is powerful. Although it says it's fiction, I learned through some internet research that it really is more of a memoir of Ocean Vuong's very difficult, very painful life. The son of a Vietnam immigrant with an unknown American father, Vuong beautifully crafts his story through poems, details about his early life and adolescent days, and glimpses into his mother and grandmother's history. It is a bleak look at immigration, the opioid epidemic, and being queer in America. I will warn you, this is not an easy book. It is vividly detailed, with scenes of abuse, drug-use, and death. It is a difficult read. But it is so beautiful. Vuong actually has his roots in poetry, and he has had several of his collections published before this first novel. It is clear that poetry is his strength as there are some chapters that are sewn into the story through poems. Vuong found a way to turn his pain and loss into something astoundingly powerful and breathtaking ---- I literally felt breathless reading his words. He takes readers deep into his psyche, with moments of profound pain, pleasure, and grace. On Earth We're Briefly Gorgeous is a heartbreaking novel filled with the harsh realities of a young, queer, immigrant Vietnamese boy, but his journey is unforgettable and deeply moving. Rating: 9/10 If you have read any of these books or decide to pick one up and want to discuss further, I am always down to have a conversation. Feel free to shoot me a message through the 'Personalized Recs' page, on Instagram or on Facebook, or you can send me an email at brianasbookshelf@gmail.com. Happy reading!

Besides book recommendations, the number one question I get asked is how I find the books on my monthly reading lists. I probably spend way too much time perusing Goodreads than I should (or any normal person should), but I've also discovered some corners of the internet that help fuel my reading addiction. 1. Goodreads If you are really serious about upping your reading game, you absolutely need a Goodreads account. You don't have to connect it to any social media, although I have definitely found some great reads by seeing what my friends have been getting into. I mostly use Goodreads to track all the books I have read and want to read, and to even decide what books seem worth putting on my TBR (aka To Be Read) list. If someone recommends a book to me, the first thing I do (literally, in the middle of the conversation) is to look it up on Goodreads. When I find a book I'm interested in and if it has at least a 4-star rating and sounds compelling, I click "Want To Read." Every month, I'll go through that list to choose my next books. This is huge — to have an app that keeps track of all my books takes away the need to have lists all over my phone and notebooks. Goodreads also has a yearly reading challenge, which encourages you to set a reading goal and tracks your progress throughout the year. Me being Type-A, I absolutely love seeing my progress and especially when I surpass my goal. Goodreads keeps me accountable by showing the world my ambitious reading goals, but it's also just the best way I've found to follow through on reading the books I find interesting. Goodreads also has different categories and "Best of" lists, which can be helpful if you're not sure where to start but have a favorite book or genre in mind. Check out my Goodreads page here and follow me to see what I'm reading. 2. Word of Mouth As with most people, I get a huge portion of book ideas from word of mouth (which I then add to my Goodreads account, of course). I'm always asking people around me what they've been reading and loving, and many offer up suggestions just because they know I'm a book worm. I still like to do my own research to see if their rec is one I would actually enjoy, but I'm much more likely to put a book on my TBR list if someone has recommended it to me personally. On this note, if you want personalized book recommendations, shoot me a message through the contact form on the 'Personalized Recs' page. Give me your favorite books, genres, moods, storylines, or tell me some of your reading goals, and I will happily recommend some books I think you would love. 3. Bookstagrams This is the newest but probably most used way to find books I want to read. There's a whole niche on the Instagram just for book lovers (who knew). I'm definitely privy to aesthetically pleasing feeds, but the reviews are what keep me sticking around. Most of the Bookstagrammers I follow have enough followers to actually be sent some of the latest books by publishers, something I'm insanely jealous of, but this is definitely helpful if I want to see what the book world is excited about and what authors are up and coming. There tends to be a lot of hype around these books, some deserved and some not, but it's fun to feel part of this nerdy internet community. Some of my favorite Bookstagrammers: Megan Prokott aka The Spines @the_spines Jenna Reads Books @jennareadsbooks Lori @loriimagination The Bibliotheque Blog @thebibliotheque Karoukh @theguywiththebook Laci Long @bookpairings Sumaiyya @sumaiyya.books Ana @inquisitivebookworm Jaime @absorbedinpages Michelle @michellereadsbooks Abby Kincer @bookmarkedbya 4. Perusing Bookstores A favorite pastime of mine when waiting for my plane at the airport, I think this is a seriously underrated way to discover some books to put on a TBR list. There's something weirdly satisfying about being able to hold a book, see how long it is, scan the back cover, and read the first page. I like to make my way through every genre section from memoirs to scifi to contemporary fiction, and get a few ideas from each category. I often judge a book by its cover, which just shows the power of marketing (I don't think that's a bad thing at all). Browsing local bookstores is an awesome way to explore your city or a new town. If you don't have many local bookstores around you, popping into a Barnes & Noble will do the trick. Stay tuned for future posts on my favorite local D.C. bookstores. 5. Library holds While all theses strategies help me find the books I want to read, there is only one way I actually obtain the six or so books I read every month — my local library. I have always been a library girl. I have a library card from every city I've ever lived in, which is necessary when you read as much as I do. When I find a book I really want to read, I find it on Goodreads and then look to see if my local library has a copy. If it does, I will put it on hold. A lot of the books I want to read tend to have a waiting list, which actually helps stabilize my reading addiction so I'm not drowning in 20 books at a time. Around the end of the month, I will choose a few picks from my Goodreads list, pick up the ones that are available at the library, along with the ones that have come off the hold shelf, and make sure it is a good mix of fiction and nonfiction. My library unfortunately has a 3-week limit on checkouts, but depending on the book, I can usually extend for the whole month. Once I read and love a book, I will buy it, usually on ThriftBooks.com. I'm a firm believer in only buying a book I've already read and love and will therefore maybe read more than once, or have on hand to lend to a friend. There have been very few times in my life I have bought a book before I've read it. My bank account definitely does not have the funds for me to be able to buy every book I read, but I don't mind because I love supporting my local D.C. library. If you don't feel like making your way to a library every time you want new books but you happen to have a computer, phone, or reading tablet, you can get a library card and use it to check out books and read them online. The best advice I can give when searching for what books you want to read is to have fun with it. Google "best memoirs about football" or "easy personal development books." Search hashtags like #besthistoricalfiction or #mostpopularbooksof2019 on Instagram. Do your research, ask your friends, shoot me an email, search the NYT bestsellers and the Pulitzer Prize winners of the last decade. The internet is a wonderful mecca of book recommendations so don't be afraid to dive deep into that world.

I'm pretty sure the question I've been asked most in my life is "how do you read so much?" Growing up, this question was usually asked in a derisive tone. Reading just isn't very cool or valued by the adolescent population. But these days, it seems that everyone is attempting to better themselves, especially through reading, and this question is no longer asked with mockery but with real curiosity. While I might have always been a bookworm, there have been surges and dips in my reading. However, over the last few years I've established some habits that mean I'm always reading at least five books a month. Here are a few tips I've picked up that I believe can help anyone up their reading game. 1. Get a library card I really wanted to start off with this one. I might be one of the few bookworms in the world who don't prefer to buy my books before I've read them, but I honestly just can't afford to read as much as I do and buy every book I read ---- I would be broke. I've always been a library lover, instilled in me especially by my dad. Even after all these years, I still think it is so cool that you can go to your local library, get a card, and then borrow as many books as your heart desires, and all for free. There are very few places left in this world that support free leisure time, and I believe more people should take advantage of it. Most libraries now have online systems so you can look up a book, put it on hold, get a notification when it is available, and then pick it up. I love doing this because it forces me to read for a few reasons: one, I have to go pick up the book that's sitting on the hold shelf otherwise I lose it. Two, I only have three weeks to read the books I check out which also pushes me to get cracking on those books. And three, there is weird, inexplicable joy I get from seeing the book I want to read finally become available. It makes the anticipation of reading even better. If you happen to have an E-reader or even don't mind reading on your phone, you can also check out ebooks and audiobooks from the library and download them right then and there to your device. I mean, how easy can it get? 2. Always have a book with you This one is big. If you always have a book with you, you'll always have the opportunity to squeeze in reading whenever you can. This one is especially big for me because I live in Washington D.C. and don't have a car here in the city. I take the Metro to and from work every day, and it's my main source of transportation in general. A public transportation commute is a great time to get a few chapters in. Not only does it make the commute more enjoyable, it's also much more satisfying than browsing Instagram on your phone while the cell service goes in and out between stops. Now, I get that most people don't live in a city with convenient public transportation. But, if you have a car and/or carry around a bag most days, having a book tucked into your glove compartment or in your bag is easy and convenient. You never know when you'll be bored and need distraction. You'd be surprised how much progress you can make on a book with only a few minutes here and there. This is also great for anytime you are traveling, whether by plane, train, or bus. I've been able to finish entire books just on plane trips from DC to Durham. I actually purchased a Kindle specifically so I could bring limitless amounts of books on my trips and vacations. I can even download a book from the library via WiFi or hot-spot straight onto my Kindle no matter where I am. If you always bring a book with you, you'll always have the chance to be productive. 3. Set a daily reading hour Sometimes, setting up a routine is the best way to get anything done. While it may seem strange to have a designated reading hour every day, it could help instill the reading habit more quickly. I love to read a chapter of a personal development book in the morning with my coffee ---- not only do I look forward to this every day, it also starts my day off really well and makes me feel more grounded. I know people who designate an hour before bed every night to a book, or even during their lunch break. For many people, when you schedule something into your day, you're much more likely to follow through on it. 4. Set a monthly or yearly reading goal If you're a user of Goodreads, you'll know you can set a yearly reading goal and then have it track your progress throughout the year and as you go through books. I absolutely love this. Not only does it keep you accountable by showing the world your goal, it also just helps you keep track of how much you're actually reading. However, a yearly goal may be too vague for some. A monthly reading goal might be a little more manageable. If you're just starting out, I think one book a month is a great goal. 5. Switch out phone or TV time for a book I think it's safe to say that we're all on our phone a little too much, myself included. It is so easy to get sucked down into internet wormholes even if we don't mean to. If you find yourself mindlessly scrolling on the couch on a random night, try to put your phone down and pick up a book. Easier said than done, but if you're consciously making the effort to read more, you'd be surprised just how much time you actually have for reading when you switch out phone scrolling for a book. While I'm still guilty of way too much mindless phone time, I've actually switched out most of my TV time for books. I don't necessarily think this would work for everyone as many people need the easy entertainment of TV after an exhausting day of work. I happen to work in television and so I watch a lot of documentary film during my work day, so when I come home, I would much rather get lost in a great book than watch even more television. I also try to make my TV time social, and so tend to only watch something when my roommates and I are doing it together. If I find myself with extra alone time, especially after a long day at work, I will make myself a cup of tea, grab a fluffy blanket, and sit on my couch with a book. To me, there is nothing more rejuvenating. 6. Read books that actually engage you None of these tips will work if you are not actually into the book you're reading. It sounds obvious, but it's weirdly not. I hear a lot of people these days saying that the time they spend reading they want to be learning and growing. This is great, but it also doesn't make a difference if you're not actually picking up the book you have because it's not engaging you enough. You have to be honest with yourself on what you like and don't like. If you're just starting out, I think the most important thing when establishing a reading habit is to only read books you actually enjoy. What's the point of reading if you're slogging through a nonfiction book you believe will teach you something but it's taking you months to read because it's ridiculously boring? Reading will always be great for your brain, no matter the genre. Romance, comedy, historical fiction, fantasy, sci-fi, memoir, contemporary fiction ---- it doesn't matter. I will never judge anyone for the books they enjoy and actually finish. Choose the books that sound the most interesting to you personally. If you pick it up and find that you're having trouble getting through it, put it down. Try something else. Don't read a book just because you think you should. Once you get into the habit of reading more in general, you can branch off into different genres and challenge yourself to heavier books. Don't forget, if you're stuck on what book to pick up or how to start your reading journey, feel free to shoot me a message through the 'Personalized Recs' page. Tell me some of your favorite books, genres, storylines, moods, or tell me some of your reading goals, and I will send you some books I think you'll love. Happy reading!

I read a lot of books in 2019 — 70, to be exact. Some life-changing, some I wish I had never picked up (I definitely need to be better about giving up on books I am not enjoying). My 2019 reading year weirdly mirrored my real life year: difficult, crazy, but amazing. 2019 was one of the best years of my life, reading and otherwise. So what better way to bring in 2020 then to gush about the books I couldn't shut up about and the books you should definitely put on your TBR list for the coming year. Middlesex by Jeffrey Eugenides (fiction, multi-generational, 20th century America, immigration, transgenders, coming-of-age) Middlesex was one of those books I've known is a classic but never picked up because it sounded kind of pretentious and hyped up (I tend to be dubious when a book is hyped up). However, when several friends urged me to give it a try (hi Sam), I gave in and I am so glad I did. This multi-generational novel tackles several difficult topics, from being an immigrant in America to being transgender, but in a way that feels personal and tangible. It begins with a couple escaping from Greece to America as refugees and follows the family in their attempt to assimilate into American life, told through the eyes of Cal, the omniscient and transgender narrator. One of the reasons I can be hesitant about novels dubbed as a classic is because that crown tends to come with writing that can be difficult, boring, and dull. Middlesex was the opposite, with writing that made me laugh, think, and anxiously sneak a read every chance I had to see what would happen next. It deservedly won the 2003 Pulitzer Prize for fiction, and if you enjoy family drama, the social and political changes of the last century, and coming-of-age stories, then I highly recommend it. Hillbilly Elegy by J.D. Vance (nonfiction, autobiography, memoir, poverty, Appalachia, Rust Belt, coming-of-age, upward mobility) Okay, phew, lots of controversy surrounds this autobiography by J.D. Vance. You might have heard about it, and you might have even written it off based on its controversy. J.D. Vance chronicles his life from poverty, to middle-class, to Yale Law School graduate. He describes the towns he grew up in, the struggle with drugs that afflicts this country, and his attempt to better his life despite his hardships. The controversy comes from some using his story as an attempt to explain the rise of Trump in America. Let me counter by saying that just because this story may shed more light on the populations who might've voted for Trump, it has nothing to do with politics or should even necessarily be coupled with Trump. It is about a man who successfully escaped the cycle of poverty as he tries to grapple with his own family history, the social issues of his home, and in what I found most compelling, the realization that you carry your past with you wherever you go. It is one viewpoint about a population of this country that is rarely given a voice. It's important to remember that this is an autobiography — it is one man's story. It is about his own experience and trauma, and it shouldn't be used as a textbook to analyze all of the Rust Belt. No one book, especially an autobiography, will be able to encompass the experience of the masses, and there will always be stories left out. Take this book for what it is: a moving, thought-provoking and well-written account of one man's attempt to make sense of and take meaning from his difficult life. Bad Blood by John Carreyrou (nonfiction, Silicon Valley, startups, fraud, Theranos, Elizabeth Holmes, investigative journalism) This page-turning book chronicles the ridiculous scandal of Elizabeth Holmes, her startup Theranos, and the winding and deep fraud that surrounded the company. First of all, this is simply an amazingly written story. I think I finished it in about three days because I couldn't stop reading it. John Carreyrou is actually the journalist who originally broke the story for the Wall Street Journal back in 2015 and it's astounding how much detail he was able to collect to accurately tell this daunting story, and daunting it is. Elizabeth Holmes was America's Silicon Sweetheart for the years she pretended to have invented a technology that would be able to run hundreds of tests on one drop of blood. I think America wants so desperately to have more successful women in the world of technology and startups that it was willing to look past Holme's suspicious activity and demeanor. Can you blame it? Even the people within the company who began to realize that the technology was not working seemed to want Elizabeth to succeed despite her lies. It's a telling account of how far people are willing to go to keep a secret, and how blind people can be because they wish something to be true. Atomic Habits by James Clear (nonfiction, personal development, habits, strategies, building routines) Yes, one of the best books I read in 2019 was a personal development book, don't laugh. We're all grinding to better ourselves everyday, right? This straight-forward, easy to read guide to building better habits is amazing because it actually gives concrete steps and ideas on how to build routines to be successful. If you're struggling to find balance or to instill healthy habits, it's probably not you — it's your systems. James Clear understands that people need to start small and build upon a foundation in order to see results. I used to think that goals were reached with drastic changes and big ideas, but now I know better. When you start small, you don't feel overwhelmed and you're more likely to stick to a routine if it feels easy and enjoyable. If you've got some big goals for 2020 and even the new decade, definitely pick up this book to get guidance on how to smash those goals. Good Morning, Midnight by Lily Brooks-Dalton (fiction, science fiction, astronomy, apocalyptic) What an unexpected, wonderful read from 2019. It is a shorter book, but packs a punch. Good Morning, Midnight is a unique take on the post-apocalyptic genre. The two main characters have seemingly separate stories, although they are linked in mysterious ways. Augustine, an aging astronomer, secludes himself in the arctic when humanity seems to be wiped out. Astronaut Sully is en-route to Jupiter on a space mission when the lines go dead. Both Augustine and Sully grapple with the haunting reality of a disappearing human population, while also attempting to unravel their own demons. It is beautifully written, gripping, and has an ending that I adored. It explores loneliness and human connection, and the characters are so vivid and memorable. I wish it had been longer, but I think there is beauty in a novel that can do so much with so few pages. Born to Run by Christopher McDougall (nonfiction, running, athletes, Tarahumara Indians, memoir, ethnography) Even if you're not a runner, I have no doubt you would find inspiration from this book. It's an unusual mix of human evolution, memoir, and ethnography, but it somehow is executed perfectly. McDougall effortlessly moves from talking about his own struggle with running injuries, to the science behind movement, to the practices and culture of the Tarahumara Indians, and finally about an off-the-cuff road race he pulled together in Mexico. However, if you are a runner or would like to do more of it, you need to read this book. It made me appreciate my body and its potential, and I feel like evolution is on my side whenever I lace up my running shoes and head out the door. If you're looking for motivation to get your ass in gear for 2020, give this book a go. While all the books above were amazing in their own ways, there were two books in particular that left me in awe. My top fiction and nonfiction picks of 2019 were ones that made me sit by myself for hours, contemplate life, and view the world differently — because isn't that what the best books are supposed to do? Best Fiction Book of 2019: Dark Matter by Blake Crouch (fiction, science fiction, thriller, suspense, thought-provoking, multi-verse) When I say "best books of 2019," that doesn't necessarily mean the best written or highest caliber. 'Best' for me means thought-provoking, intense, immediate, and unforgettable. Of all the fiction books I read this year, I had no doubt in my mind which was the best. Dark Matter has the most unique and mind-bending storyline I have read in a long time, maybe ever. It follows a brilliant scientist as he questions the decisions he has made in his life and where it has brought him. He has a wife and son he loves dearly, but at times feels like he gave up a different, more successful life in the field of physics. The central theme is one every reader can relate to, but Crouch goes deeper when he chooses to explore the question of "Are you happy in your life?" The story goes down the insane rabbit hole of the multi-verse, the idea that there are infinite universes existing at this very moment, and how each decision we make alters the universe just a little bit. I remember staying up until 3 AM to finish this book because I absolutely could not put it down. And the ending did not disappoint. I sat by myself for days contemplating the nature of my reality (hello, Westworld), and all the decisions I've made that have led me to where I am today, and what would be different if I had decided differently. It's a mighty feat for a book to make me feel all those feels, but Dark Matter did and did it beautifully. Best Nonfiction Book of 2019: Evicted by Matthew Desmond (nonfiction, poverty, renting, ethnography, thought-provoking, should be read by every American) If you read one book from this entire list, make it this one. Evicted follows eight families and their landlords in Milwaukee in 2007-2008 as they struggle to pay their rent and deal with the cycle of poverty. The reason this book is so remarkable and convincing is because it is told through the third person. Matthew Desmond is completely silent in this book (until the epilogue and notes). His voice is nowhere to be found. Instead, the stories unfold through the voices of those involved. The book reads like fiction: there are direct quotes, thoughts from inside people’s head, pictures painted from all sides of the rent equation. I have never read a nonfiction book like this before, and I believe it is the main reason why it is so powerful. It is difficult to feel like a reader is getting an objective story when it is told through the eyes of the author. By removing himself from the narrative, Desmond was able to present the harsh and authentic reality of renting in an American city. Poverty is a story best told through the people it affects, and Desmond understood this so well. But he also knew that in order to show the whole picture, he also had to show the lives of landlords and rental managers. Instead of filling this book with just facts, figures, big ideas, and vague details of the lives of those in poverty, Desmond made sure to squeeze empathy out of readers. He described the people and their personalities, their past struggles and mistakes, their hopes and plans for the future. He showed that they are real. These are not fictional characters. The people in this book are real and the horrors they go through are painful and impactful. I will always remember the names of every person in this book - their story, their struggle, their desperation, and their resilience. The end result is astounding. I don’t say this very often, but I believe this is a book that should be read by every American. It shows such a devastating and important part of our country, but a part that most do not ever see or understand. Evicted opened my eyes to the reality of poverty, it changed my mind about underlying and systemic injustices that keep the renting industry where it is, and it evoked anger in me. But instead of ending the book with no solutions, Desmond actually offers up ideas he believes could help solve the problem. Although a harrowing book about poverty, Desmond was able to end on a hopeful note, making this the absolute best book I read in 2019. If you have read any of these books or decide to pick one up and want to discuss further, I am always down to have a conversation. Feel free to shoot me a message through the 'Personalized Recs' page, on Instagram or on Facebook, or you can send me an email at brianasbookshelf@gmail.com. Happy reading!

There's a lot of debate on the value of New Year's resolutions. I actually write my intentions and my goals at the beginning of every month, so the New Year is mostly an arbitrary date for me. However, my reading goals have evolved a lot over the years, and I'm at a place in life where I want to challenge myself and reach for things that are out of my comfort zone. So, here are my Book Resolutions for 2020 (maybe putting them out into the world will help me stay accountable): 1. Read more books by Non-American Authors This idea crept on me in the last few months of 2019. I noticed that the books I read that were translated from other languages or by authors from other countries sat with me differently. Their stories gave light to cultures and lives that I had never known much about. While I am always trying to understand my own culture and country more, I think it's important to broaden that scope to include more of the world (especially since I am the daughter of a Polish immigrant). There's also something weirdly thrilling about reading a story that has been consumed and enjoyed by people so different than I, making me remember that the core of reading is stepping into the life of someone other than yourself. My TBR — aka To Be Read — authors include Olga Tokarczuk (gotta be true to my roots), Cixin Liu, Bassey Ikpi, José Saramago, Vladimir Nabokov (Lolita is already an all-time favorite). 2. Learn to put down books I am not enjoying Weird, I know, but I honestly have the hardest time not finishing a book, even if I despise it. I feel this weird, competitive urge to complete a book, like I'm a better person and reader for slogging through a miserable book just to say I did. This is dumb. There are too many amazing books out there for me to think I need to read every single book I pick up. And for the amount of books I read, it makes no sense to continue on with one if I am not into it. Even if Goodreads and the internet raves about a certain book, I should stick to my gut and put it down if it is not bringing me joy. Also, if I am going to recommend great reads to people, I need to spend the time to find the best books. 3. Read more poetry This honestly wasn't on my mind for my 2020 Book Resolutions until a few weeks ago. Life hasn't been easy the last few months, and at times I've found myself struggling and looking for comfort and answers. Books are always a great distraction when life is hard, but things have gotten to a point where I need something that will help me heal instead of distract me. I happened to pick up a Charles Bukowski book the other day, and I am so glad I did. Bukowski has always been one of my all-time favorite poets, but now that I'm an adult, his work somehow feels more real and raw. I've never been the biggest fan of poetry but reading Bukowski felt cleansing somehow, and comforting — I felt like someone understood my soul. And honestly, that's exactly what I need right now. I want to have one poetry book in my monthly reading lists. My TBR poets include more Charles Bukowski, Henry David Thoreau, Walt Whitman, Rumi, Sylvia Plath, T.S. Eliot, Emily Dickinson, Maya Angelou, Pablo Neruda (since I'm new to poetry, I definitely want to pick up some of the classics), Wisława Szymborska, Nikita Gill, Rupi Kaur. 4. Reread my childhood favorites Apart from Harry Potter, which I reread every two or three years (duh), I almost have never reread a book. This makes sense since I have an infinite amount of books on my TBR list and have previously thought that there is little value in rereading a book I already read and loved. But as I am getting older, I believe that the books I read and loved throughout my adolescence might bring me new meaning and joy. I'm sure it will include that wonderful feeling of nostalgia, but it might also teach me new things and show me how much I've grown. I don't plan on rereading too many... but ideally a few of the ones that really stuck with my soul. My TBR reread list includes Gone with the Wind by Margaret Mitchell, Under the Banner of Heaven by Jon Krakauer, Memoirs of a Geisha by Arthur Golden, Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov. 5. Mindfully choose diverse book content This is definitely something I have been attempting to do in the last six months or so, but I want to make sure I am held accountable this year. There are so many wonderful, amazing things about reading books, and I've always felt that joy. For my entire life, reading was such a personal passion that I kept close to my heart — it was about distraction, about the thrill of reading fiction, about feeling as though I am living a life other than my own. When times got hard, I picked up a book to make myself feel better, and I didn't feel the need to share that comfort or joy. Maybe it's that this year was personally the most difficult, maybe it's because I turned 25, or maybe it's because my life has just changed a lot, but reading, as of recently, has become something different for me. Now, reading feels bigger than myself. I have this urge to learn more about my country, my neighbors, other cultures, how to better myself, and how to figure out how to make sense of not just my own life, but of the world. I will always find joy and comfort in fiction, it's my reading foundation, it's in my bones. But now, I feel a thrill picking up a book on a topic or written by an author I know little about. Who knows what 2020 will teach me, what books will change my life, and which will become new favorites — I can't wait to see.